News JournalA Lake Mary bartender broke into her ex-fiance’s Deltona home and attacked the new girlfriend she found in bed with him, Volusia deputies said. Kelly Custis, 27, a bartender at Fourth Street Bar and Grille in Lake Mary, was arrested and charged with burglary with assault or battery, an arrest report shows. Deputies were called to the Deltona home at 5:30 a.m. Monday to reports of a physical disturbance. At the home, deputies found Shelley Graham, 28, an employee of Shotz Sports Bar in DeBary, with scratches all over her chest, arm and face. Clumps of Graham’s hair were on the bedroom floor, deputies said. The ex-fiance, David Lewis, 31, an employee of the Seminole County Fire Department, told deputies he was lying in bed with his new girlfriend, Graham, when the lights in the bedroom suddenly came on. He saw Custis standing in the doorway and she began to attack Graham as they lay in bed, deputies wrote in the report.

Has there ever been a better chance to parlay a threesome than this moment right here? Its 5 in the morning and you’ve got 2 girls – named fucking Shelley and Kelly – having a cat fight in the middle of your bedroom. Thats practically the script of a porno right there. Thats where you gotta spring into action and harness all that anger and fighting and turn it into a sexual extravaganza. Just like Matt Dillion in the Wild Things Threesome. One minute we’re fighting and backstabbing and trying to kill each other and the next minute you’re stuffing someone’s thong in your pocket while they pour champagne all over each other.

Chances are you just cover your dick and watch as you ex tears your new girl’s face directly off her head, but when Shelley and Kelly are fighting over your dick you might as well roll the dice and offer it up to both of them.