CBS – When Rex Ryan took a vacation to the Bahamas, he probably never imagined his naked torso making the cover of New York newspapers. But it did because of a tattoo he has on his arm featuring his wife in a Mark Sanchez jersey. Because the New York media are bloodthirsty sharks, they asked him about it during his end-of-season press conference Tuesday, and Ryan, as he’s often wont to do, answered it frankly. ”Yeah, there was a question is that a real tattoo or not. And I’ll keep you guessing,” Ryan said a little sheepishly. “It’s funny, it’s actually a tattoo I’ve had going on three years now. I know what you’re thinking — obviously if Sanchez doesn’t play better that number is changing. That’s pretty much a given. “But, no, I’ve been married 25 years, and through my eyes my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. So that’s what it is.”

I still don’t know what the fuck this means. “Ill keep you guessing.” “I’ve had it for three years” “I’ll change the number.” I don’t fucking know and I just don’t fucking care. I watched Rex and Woody get up there at that press conference and do an absolutely piss poor job answering the most basic questions. Like point blank questions about the GM position and the quarterback position – the only two questions that literally anybody cares about – and they both sat there stuttering and stammering back and forth trying to see who could sound like the bigger idiot. Provided absolutely zero answers and gave absolutely no hope for the future. Might as well just fast forward to next season when Rex gets the boot because absolutely nothing for this franchise is changing.

But hey he thinks his wife is beautiful and he’s been married 25 years or some shit. We’ve got tattoo talk while the franchise is a smoldering pile of ashes.