hart

So a couple days ago I’m doin my thing, facebook creepin, and I get a facebook chat from this random chick. At this point I got a lot of randos on my account so its not that out of the ordinary. And shes like “hi honey” or something cutesy to that effect, and obviously I’m like, don’t mind if I do! So I start stringing this broad and I’m looking at her page at the same time. She’s essentially asking me “a/s/l?”  but shes also asking me about my default picture at the same time. Asking me what my likes and dislikes are and all this wacky shit. Boring details, I know, but the point I’m making here is this girl was making small talk. Conversation continued on about normal everyday stuff for a while. But I’m getting a weird vibe and I notice I have three really random friends in common so I start digging deeper. Her  name on her facebook account is Hart London. The fuck is that about? Weird ass name. And after I see a couple more pictures on her facebook that look like this:

london

I’m thinking, this chick must be down with the world of smut. Like she can smell it on me through the internet. And before I can blink my eyes the next message I get is “want to do a webcam?” I go on to google this broad and find her site londonhart.com which is like one of those 1999 “Click here for my free tour!” websites which suck but are kind of cool in their own right. Those sites are like vinyl records, or those old style glass Coke bottles. Totally outdated, pointless, and difficult but you kind of feel like you’re apart of history when you use them.

Anyway, the whole point here is, has the porn industry really come to this? Have they really stooped to this level? Essentially cold-calling me via facebook chat? Like London Hart here knows she cant compete with the youjizz’s of the world so shes gotta take it to the streets. Grass roots porno movement. Get her hands dirty and start facebook chatting internet bloggers in the hopes of landing some paying customers. I appreciate the effort, London. I really do. And I won’t lie it felt really good for the first 30 seconds when I thought you IMed me because you really liked me. But the only time that sort of ego-stroking works on me is at the strip club, so get out from behind the keyboard and get up on the pole because I’ve got a date with youporn.com and I don’t wanna be late.