YORK, England – A British soldier killed by a Taliban bomb in Afghanistan left $161,500 in his will — so his friends could go on vacation to Las Vegas, The Sun reported Monday. Royal Marine David Hart, who had taken out a $403,800 life insurance policy before he was deployed to Afghanistan, stipulated in a letter that in the event of his death, his friends and their partners should travel to Sin City for a massive party in his memory. “In his letter David said he had had a great life and had no regrets about anything. He always said he would do something like this if something bad happened,” friend Andy Hare said. “He said, ‘Go and have a good time and spend all this money.’” Now, one year after 23-year-old Hart’s death, 32 friends will fly to Nevada to honor his final wishes. Hart, a combat medic, also set aside money for his family as well as $80,700 for a charity for wounded Marines. “He was the best brother I could have wished for,” Sarah Hart, 27, told the newspaper. “He was caring, funny and had an infamous grin. He would always be there for you. I’m proud to have been his sister and of his career as a commando.” Lt. Col. Paul James characterized Hart as the “perfect Marine — magnificent and in personality and profession.”
Now thats how you fucking die! Seriously has anybody ever died better than David Hart? Dude gave up his life for probably the most noble cause imaginable, and in the process gave 32 of his friends an all expenses paid trip to Vegas. Probably the greatest friend the world has ever seen.
And can you imagine how fucking unbelievable that party is gonna be? Its not like you need any special reason to party your balls of in Vegas to begin with. Like if I’m in Vegas and anyone asks me “why are you here?” the answer is “Because I can drink booze and bang strippers and do drugs and other illegal shit, and for some reason, within the confines of this tiny strip of city, its socially acceptable. Thats why.” But if I ever went there with a reason of “My best friends dying wish was for me and 31 other buddies to go to Vegas on his dime and celebrate his life and ours” there’s a strong chance I wouldn’t even make it out alive. Matter of fact this heroic tale is probably gonna turn to tragedy when the headlines next week read “32 English men partied themselves to death trying to honor their best friend’s last wishes.” Hey Dave thanks a lot for footing that $150,000 bill but now we’re all dead because you threw such a fucking awesome party from the grave.
You know what I’m leaving my friends when I’m dead? Barstool T shirts and the password to my facebook account. Now I know its not as cool as a $160,000 Hooker Party but the intrinsic value of that facebook account is priceless. Its like a catalog of roughly 1,500 hot college chicks. Go nuts fellas. At least 1 out of 1,000 will probably be willing to have sex with you.
But hats off to David Hart. People always say “I want my funeral to be a party. I don’t want you guys sitting around crying about how I’m gone.” Oh yea? Well prove it. David Hart did just that.
PS – Love that he gave twice as much for friends and family to get blacked out than he did for wounded Marines and everybody is cool with it. Even other wounded Marines were probably like “good call, bro”