LaCrosse TribuneTwo strippers at an adult entertainment club in Juneau, Wis., got into a fight after one of the strippers claimed a dollar bill offered by a customer was rightfully “earned” by her and not the other dancer. The unidentified strippers, ages 19 and 23, were cited for disorderly conduct after the fight at Silk Exotic Juneau Gentleman’s Club, the Dodge County Sheriff’s Department said. “I was surprised by this, as we seldom receive calls for service from this business,” said Sheriff Todd Nehls. “This is a rare exception.” Deputies were sent to the club at about 9:30 p.m. Thursday. “The two dancers got into a physical fight on stage over one dollar,” Nehls said. “A customer was trying to give the dollar to one of the dancers but the other took exception to it and felt she had ‘earned’ that dollar.” According to the news release, the strippers punched and slapped each other, and some hairs were pulled out, before other dancers and customers broke up the fight.

Without video evidence of the cat fight, Cinnamon & Destiny throwing down over a buck is a non-story. Our nation’s financial woes hit strippers just as hard as you & I. Less jobs = less money = less dicks for sluts to bounce their asses on. With tuitions at stake, the value of a gentleman’s club dollar has never been higher. So it’s no surprise there’s some “misunderstandings” over whose thong should get stuffed.

The real story here is Sheriff Todd Nehls. Could this guy have any more of a guilty conscience? “What? Silk Exotic? We’re never called there. What a surprise. So rare. Didn’t even know it existed. Gross. I love my wife.” Relax, pal. Are you even a real cop? Ever questioned a suspect before? You of all people should know loose lips sink ships. All I have is a background in Law & Order & I’m all-in that Sheriff Nehls was in the champagne room getting his night stick polished to Sweet Child O’ Mine when the glittery fists started flying. Hopefully his wife dumber than he is.