ALBANY, N.Y. (CBSDC) – Pregnant women have used natural remedies such as a teaspoon of ginger or a mint to help battle morning sickness. But now, one medical professional believes you can add oral sex to that list. According to Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany, the best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is sperm. But not just any sperm, it should be the sperm of the person who got you pregnant. Gallup believes the reason a pregnant woman gets morning sickness is due to the unfamiliar semen in their body due to the pregnancy. Gallup says in his findings that the woman’s body will initially reject the father’s semen as an infection and react to it by vomiting. Gallup says the best cure for morning sickness is to ingest the father’s semen so her body can build up a tolerance to what’s already in her body. Gallup agrees with the 2000 abstract from the National Center for Biotechnology Information, which showed that oral sex and swallowing sperm is correlated with a diminished occurrence of preeclampsia.

Can I get a standing ovation for Gordon Gallup? Can I get a round of applause for quite possibly the most cockamamie scheme a man has ever created in the hopes of getting his dick sucked? I mean there is a 200% chance Dr. Gallup has a pregnant wife at home and hasn’t gotten his dick wet in like 10 years.

This is the most elaborate scam I’ve ever heard in my life. Your body is rejecting the foreign semen so the cure is to swallow as much semen as you possibly can so you just get used to it. Your body won’t stop rejecting my semen until you just overwhelm it with so much cum your body starts to like it. As a matter of fact my dick spits magical juice that also cures wrinkles and cellulite. Anal sex helps you lose your pregnancy weight and the best way to fight post partum depression is to let your husband fuck other girls because then he’ll realize how much more he loves you and he’ll be so nice to you that you won’t be depressed.

But lets not get ahead of ourselves. You look a little queasy so get on your knees