NYPost - The snowstorm that mangled New York saved the life of one Manhattan man. A troubled Hell’s Kitchen resident jumped from his ninth-floor apartment window yesterday — but survived because he landed atop a mountain of trash bags that had been piling up since the Dec. 26 blizzard, cops said. “Maybe it was lucky we had this snow and they hadn’t cleared the garbage,” said Katharina Capatos, the aunt of the victim, Vangelis “Angelo” Kapatos. It was about the only good news from a torturous postblizzard week marked by a lackluster response to the storm, which included a catastrophic breakdown of snow-plowing that kept ambulances from getting patients to hospitals.  “This was the perfect storm — excessive amounts of garbage between the Christmas and New Year holidays and nearly 2½ feet of snow,” said Councilman Vincent Ignizio (R-SI).

I’ve been on a 5 day bender so I didn’t even realize the city was crippled from the snow. Hadn’t seen the news or picked up a paper or anything. So to me, the aftermath of this blizzard was just a bunch of slush puddles and broads walking around in their Hunter boots. But just yesterday as I was walking to Hype Lounge I started to notice the gigantic fucking piles of garbage everywhere. Like piles of 30+ bags just rotting on the streets. And then I find out ambulances can’t reach patients and people are flying out of fucking windows. Christ Almighty. Get hit with a little snow and the whole goddam city collapses.

Anyway, this has gotta be one of the more absurd coincidences of all time. Dude is trying to smash into the pavement from 9 stories up and he lands in a impromptu landfill because Bloomberg and company just let all the plow trucks and garbagemen dick around during the blizzard. What are the fuckin chances? He must be so fucking pissed. Finally build up the courage to pull the proverbial trigger and it doesn’t even work. Its like when you’re at the bar and you finally muster up enough balls to go hit on a smoke and by the time you turn to go do it, she’s gone.

Actually its nothing like that because in one scenario you’re still boozing at the bar and in the other scenario you’re half dead in a pile of trash heading into surgery in critical condition. But you kinda get what I mean.