Consumerist – Having a bad day and just want to drown your sorrows in say, a veggie bowl and fried pickles? Maybe your server will be as smooth as this fella, who added in a few compliments by way of a $0.02 total discount on a customer’s receipt for “Best Butt” and “Best Looking.” Creepy or sweet? Your call. Reddit user caraficionado24 says a friend was complimented thusly at a restaurant recently, prompting a few questions for you, our dear readers: Is it even possible to enter such items in a point-of-sale system? The last time I used a POS was in college and there were very specific buttons for every single thing on the menu, and nothing else. Nary a superlative to be found. This could also be a clever Photoshop job, but one commenter did say they work at the same chain and that there are fun discounts that can be entered.

So this picture is making the rounds today, because people freaking love stories about stuff being written on receipts that shouldn’t be there. More importantly, and the reason I’m posting this Meat Is Murder Tasty Tasty Murder receipt is because its important that we continue to live in a world where people with perfect asses get rewarded for their gift. They deserve free drinks at the bar. They deserve shopping sprees from rich guys. They deserve discounts on their Veggie Bowls.

Which is why I’ve been trying to track down the girl with the Perfect Butt from Village Pourhouse. I made the very generous offer of Blackout tickets to any show in the country for proof that butt belongs to her. And you know what that ass terrorist comes back with? Here’s here proof:

A bunch of shit on the ground. Now, upon further inspection of the original picture, you’ll realize those are all the pieces of the outfit

But fuck that! That could be pure coincidence. You could just be a girl with the same pants and purse. You could be this Mystery Butt’s fat ugly roommate for all I know. And you know what the best part of all was? Her counter offer after providing this proof was tickets to Saturday and Sunday at Electric Zoo! Fuck you, perfect butt! Electric Zoo costs like $900 and I have absolutely nothing to do with that. You got a nice tush, but not that nice you bully. I will not be intimidated and I will not be manipulated. You flew too close to the sun on wings made of your perfect butt cheeks. Blackout Tickets offer rescinded.