TAMPA, Fla. — Over at the back door of the 2001 Odyssey, a limo-size tent with flaps — especially designed for discretion and camera-shy guests — is ready to go up. Déjà Vu is welcoming extra “talent” from around the country in its V.I.P. rooms. As Tampa gears up for the Republican National Convention, the biggest party it has ever held, the city and its businesses are primping and polishing for the August arrival of tens of thousands of visitors. Like it or not — mostly not, for city officials — Tampa’s well-known strip clubs have joined the welcome wagon. Club owners here say they have schmoozed with their counterparts in former host cities, like Denver, and have been told that revenue pours in during conventions, sometimes quadrupling earnings from a Super Bowl week. As for party affiliation, this is one place where the country’s caustic partisan differences fall away, owners say. Angelina Spencer, the executive director of the Association of Club Executives, which serves as a trade association for strip clubs, said an informal survey of convention business in New York and Denver had determined that Republicans dropped more money at clubs, by far. “Hands down, it was Republicans,” she said. “The average was $150 for Republicans and $50 for Democrats.”

Sounds like they’re bracing for a fuckin hurricane or an invasion or something. Importing reinforcements from all around the country to handle these Viagra poppin grandpas. Like William Wallace rounding up all the Scottish in Braveheart. “Highlanders are coming down in droves of hundreds and thousands. Are ya ready for a WAR!!” Except in this case instead of men fighting against tyranny for their freedom its a bunch of sluts gearing up for creepy old white men who will give them money for over the pants hand jobs. Quick! Call in Candy from Denver! Get Misty from Miami! Jasmine from Georgia! We’ve got the GOP in town and these dicks aren’t gonna ejaculate in their slacks on their own!

What a bunch of fucking squares the Democrats are huh? Probably have the Democratic National Convention in Portland or San Francisco or something. Spend the weekend talking about global warming and gay marriage or some bullshit. Meanwhile Rush Limbaugh and Michael Steele are busy fingering trailer park hos in the champagne room. Makin it rain with trashbags full of money while Pony by Ginuwine plays.