In case you were unfamiliar, “what Tara Reid does best” is “being a drunken catastrophe.” Looks like the aftermath of the knockout scene at the end of Rocky II when Rocky and Apollo both hit the mat. Just body on top of body, both girls so disoriented they have to fight to get to their feet.

Out of all the drunk celebrity whores, Tara Reid has gotta be the most attainable, right? I think a completely average dude in the right situation could bag her. Like the rest of the drunk whores are still really rich or really famous and probably still only fuck guys who are fancy. Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan ain’t gonna bang just anybody. But I bet the average dude with solid game could take down Tara Reid. Just forget about the American Pie Tara Reid and the Van Wilder Tara Reid. Remind her that she’s pushing 40 years of age and that the Big Lebowski was almost 15 years ago. Just keep those post-plastic surgery pictures in mind and treat her like a sewer rat that she usually is and I bet you can get Tara Reid to blow you.

Only thing working against you is time. Gotta get it done before she ends up winning Celebrity Death Pool 2013.