Taylor Swift Keeps Getting Dumped Because She Doesn’t Put Out
Radar Online – Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift after growing tired of her “asexual” ways, RadarOnline.com exclusively reports. The 18-year-old One Direction heartthrob, who has earned a reputation as a ladies’ man across the pond, got bored of Taylor, 23, after she hardly ever put out. “Taylor is so concerned that the public will think she’s a wh*re because she dates around, that she doesn’t put out,” a pal close to the We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together singer told RadarOnline.com. “What she doesn’t get is that the guys keep dumping her because she’s being a prude.” Another source says the fact that she constantly talked about antiques was another turn-off for the young singer! “Harry found Taylor a little sexually uninterested,” a source close to the star revealed.
Hey Taylor guess what! Everyone already thinks you’re a whore! Might as well get fucked while you’re at it. Although I must say – what did these fucking guys think they were getting into when they started dating this girl:
Did they think they were gonna get porn star sex from this chick? She either looks like she’s about to go on the Oregon Trail or shes from the 1950s. I could take one look at this bitch and tell you you’re gonna be talking about antiques getting handjobs if you date her.
The problem is you can’t do this with famous rich dudes. Because they all know what they could be getting if they were single. Movie stars and pop stars ain’t settling for dry humping an awkward prude when they know they can be having wild groupie sex. You gotta get a normal ass guy for that shit. I will gladly date Taylor Swift and watch Antique Roadshow with her every night before I masturbate to Trouble and go to sleep in separate beds. If you think I can’t keep my dick in my parents for millions of dollars, you don’t know me very well. Expensive lavish gifts and living like a king is 200% better than banging anyway. Again, all those famous dudes have all that shit so no reason for them to put up with the chastity belt. But KFC is a different story. Hey Taylor…call me.
“If you think I can’t keep my dick in my parents for millions of dollars, you don’t know me very well.”
whoa
Can Taylor Swift just become a lesbian and fuck off already? If you’re over the age of 11 and give a shit about this gangly twat please kill yourself.
She’s a pirate hooker from whore island.
prob should keep that out of your parents regardless
FREUDIAN SLIP! FREUDIAN SLIP! FREUDIAN SLIP!
“If you think I can’t keep my dick in my parents for millions of dollars, you don’t know me very well.” – KFC’s into incest?
you fuck your parents? gross dude
I like the “dick in my parents” part. Good proof reading. Either that or you’re way more fucked up that we all thought originally
hahaha, subconcious coming out there…
What a hall of fame Freudian slip in this blog. Taylor if you don’t want to put out that’s ok, but that means you gotta make with the BJs toot sweet.
I bet shes a minx when she actually does decide to fuck.
Her daily schedule should be:
1 – Go to IHOP
2 – Go tanning
3 – Doesn’t matter after that
Holy shit didn’t even pick up on that slip at first. Does the new girlfriend know you feel this way about Papa Clancy?
Why do commenters point out typos on this site? do you feel cool? are you guys jealous that he has the job you want so you have to confirm to yourself you’d do a better job by saying shit? he meant Pants. he wrote parents. who fucking cares. he doesnt and neither should you
She looks alright with the new warlocks but still personality wise just an absurdly annoying cunt
In KFC’s defense, I can’t keep my dick out of his parents either.
Also I’m glad Taylor didn’t put out for that dude. Cut your hair you limey bitch. When can we expect “If you think I can’t keep my dick in my parents for millions of dollars, you don’t know me very well.” t-shirts? NY Post will eat that up I’m sure.
Freud would fucking love this
Because kfc puts his dick in his parents, no other way to explain it…
You always seemed like a mommas boy KFC.
Do you know why it’s funny @jerseysox? Because he said “keep my dick in my parents”. That’s totally funny.
Hey jerseysox, lighten the fuck up. Pretty sure KFC is laughing at this one himself. Go back to your miserable life.
The “keep my dick out in my pants” line was gold. “Keep my dick in my parents” is straight platinum. Probably the funniest thing ive ever written
cant keep my dick in my parents— Classic
oregon trail line was funny, but you kinda fudged the blog when you talked about fucking your parents for money. that shit is just gross.
“…about to go on the Oregon Trail” Kinda made me laugh which is rare.
Do you KFC, do you.. but then make an appointment to see a shrink.
I bet you could, let’s just say I know you well.
The sound of Taylor Swift having sex:
http://soundbible.com/295-Summer-Crickets-Chirping.html
I’d let her give me over the pants handys for the rest of my life for half of the $57 mil shes making a year
harry styles looks like a tranny
I’d still hit it again and again and again and again.
And that Styles dude looks like a homo. No wonder she wouldn’t fuck him. Don’t want teh aids.
The Oregon Trail line made me laugh my ass off.
@mattsh20….. Fuckin right. Was dating a Wellesley college student. Hand jobs for months. Couldn’t even finger bang her til one night……got her liquored and chowed her dime. Liked it so much she turned into a itty bitty whooa.
Holy shit! You guys know Freud too??
bro you fuck your parents? even your dad too?
KFC. Is your mom hot? If so, I could probably keep my dick in her….