Bahah! Fuck you New England! Talk about a flair for the dramatic. Teddy just took a shit all over your corn on the cob. Knocked your shit out and chowed down on Big Blue’s. It wasn’t even a contest. Not like he was wavering between the two and couldn’t decide. Just plowed through New England right to New York. Squealing right in your stupid Masshole faces as he enjoyed that sweet, sweet Super Bowl champion corn.

On an unrelated note, people who have pet porcupines should be institutionalized.