Minnesota - We know viral videos have been successful in helping procure dates with society’s most unattainable celebrities such as Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, but what about relentless Tweets? That is what Mike “awesome” Stone is currently trying to find out, by using his Twitter account to spam every porn star he can find in an attempt to secure a prom date for May 12th. The 18-year-old from Minnesota made news over the weekend when his exploits ended up on the front page of Reddit. Meaning what started as a young man’s personal quest quickly gained national exposure, and of course, criticism. Unlike the YouTube videos created to attract the attention of Timberlake and Kunis, there is no specificity to his request and even less charm. Stone is simply playing a sheer numbers game by shamelessly propositioning every single porn star with a Twitter account. He is also promising to pay for dinner, a hotel room and a “personal massage.”

The force is strong with this one. If I could travel back in time and visit my 18 year old self, the first thing I’d tell me to do is solicit as many porn stars as humanely possible. Of course things would be different back then. When I was 18 Twitter didn’t exist and free streaming internet porn was in its early stages. So really the only porn stars I knew at that stage in the game was like Jenna Jameson and Brianna Banks. But make no mistake if I could go back to 2003, I’d tell 18 year old KFC to write hand written letters to Jenna and Brianna asking them out on dates. Like when you used to get Sports Illustrated for Kids and you could send letters to all your favorite pro athletes. I used to write Shaq like every single day because we had the same birthday. Maybe I should have been writing Jenna Jameson asking her to go to the school dance and promising her that I’d finger her under the guise of promising a “personal massage.” Seems like a much greater rate of return writing the sexiest blond porn star as opposed to the 7 foot tall 300 pound black man.

So yea, like I said, if I could go back in time this is what I’d tell the young version of me to do. Fuck if I could rewind to yesterday I’d be like “Yo, KFC from 1 day ago, how did you not spend yesterday mass tweeting hundreds of porn stars looking for a date?” Because make no mistake about it, folks – getting laid and getting dates and finding strange ass and love is nothing but a numbers game. Sheer probability. Most guys don’t understand that until its too late. Spend years being picky and worry about their reputation. Only trying to hook up with 10s. Too high standards. Well in reality you should try to be out there blanketing this world of women with your seed. All types of chicks. All different colors and shapes and sizes. And Mike Stone at the ripe age of 18 already understands this notion. Going 0 for 6 is very possible. Going 0 for 600 is a very different story.