How the fuck is today not a national holiday yet? Behind the Day After New Years and The Day After Labor Day is Super Bowl Monday. We celebrate fake ass holidays like Columbus Day and MLK Day but we can’t get a Super Bowl Monday off? President’s Day is in a couple weeks, why can’t we just celebrate that on the first Monday in February every year? Who knows when George Washington was really born anyway. Or why don’t they just have the Super Bowl on Saturday? They take a fucking week off for Media Week anyway, just play on that second Saturday and let us have Sunday to recover. Everyone would still watch.

Bottom line is making everyone work today is as un-American as it gets. And not just because of the hangover and the food coma and waking up dead tired. The Monday after the Super Bowl is the end of my football season. Yea, the Jets were out of it by week 8, but I was still out there every Sunday. I may not be on the field every Sunday but for 20 like 20 straight weeks I’m at the bar spending too much money drinking too much booze eating too much food rooting way too hard for a shitty football team. As far as I’m concerned, I’m competing in my own right. And after it all comes to an end I think I earned one day off to manage that depression. Forget about debt ceilings and fiscal cliffs and shit, Obama! Just move up President’s Day 2 weeks and leave your mark on America for the rest of eternity.