Last night the New York Jets took a shit on national TV for like the 3rd time this season. The game was an abomination. An embarrassment. A mockery. With their unrealistic pipe dreams of a playoff appearance on the line, they came out and played their worst game of the year against a putrid 4-10 Titans team and let their season die. Whats worse – Mark Sanchez and Rex Ryan’s career’s were possibly on the line and both of them put up their worst performance of the season. Yes, I understand its hard to pinpoint one performance as the worst when there was so many to choose from. So many awful, pathetic and embarrassing moments in a downright pathetic season. Here are the 5 worst:
5. Revis Tears His ACL
This was the first time I Cunceled Da Saeson on the Jets. Week 3 against the Dolphins Revis blows out his ACL. Antonio Cromartie actually stepped up all season long after that. He’s had a tremendous season. But the moment Darrelle Revis went down was the moment the Jets were fucked. It was actually the one shitty moment of the year the Jets didn’t deserve. Sucked to watch the Jets most talented player go down for the season.
4. Santonio Holmes’ Dramatic Fumble Hands The 49ers A Touchdown In 34-0 Shutout At Home
If this doesn’t sum up Santonio Holmes and his time with the Jets, I don’t know what does. Crumpling to the ground in a giant pile of ineptitude, handing the ball to the opposition in a moment of over-dramatic “Look at me! Look at me! I’m injured!” Just zero awareness for the game or the moment focused solely on himself and what would happen to him. ‘Tone Time! The Jets looked like a high school squad out there as the 49ers showed us what it looked like when they played a real contender. 34 rip. Shutout at home.
3. The Jets Set The NFL Back 50 Years With Their Games Against Arizona, Miami and Jacksonville
One of the defining moments of this Jets season was their ability to make an absolutely mockery of the game of football. Week after week I found myself saying “That was the worst football game I’ve ever watch” and each time I wasn’t exaggerating Home against Miami in week 8, and back to back games against the only 2 teams in the league you could maybe consider worse than them, Arizona and Jacksonville, the Jets put on displays of football that set the game back 50 years. The 7-6 win over Arizona was rock bottom for the sport of football. It was a game featuring Mark Sanchez vs. Ryan Lindley. 3-0 at the half. Both teams struggled to cross midfield. Greg McElroy made his NFL debut and threw for 27 yards in the game winning drive and was immediately crowned the next Joe Montana because he looked so much better than the other 2 dickheads. Naturally the Jets would go on to make McElroy inactive the next 2 weeks because what the fuck, why not! In an ironic twist, 2 of the Jets wins this season came in these games, yet they were so unenjoyable for fans to watch, they stick out as one of the worst moments of the year.
2. Sanchez Throws 4 INTs, Fumbles Snap On Last Drive To End The Season
With virtually everything on the line – not only the season but his career – Mark Sanchez went out there and gave his worst performance of his career. Against a horrible 4-10 team, Mark Sanchez tossed 4 picks and despite being handed 55 chances to win the game, including a gift wrapped 19 yard punt leaving them on the 25 yard line to potentially score the game winning touchdown, fumbles a low snap and gives Mike Tirico an on-air orgasm. In this game, Mark’s backup Tim Tebow goes 0/1 with 0 yards and 0 touchdowns…and has a higher QB rating than Sanchez. Mark Sanchez’s coffin has more nails in it than any other failing athlete of all time, but this dump of a game should be the final one.
1. The Thanksgiving Day Massacre and The Birth of The Butt Fumble
After nearly beating the dreaded Patriots earlier in the season, the Jets put on a circus act spectacle Thanksgiving Night for the entire world to see. Probably the most watched game of the season, in the biggest brightest spotlight imaginable, in a game their owner specifically requested the NFL schedule for more exposure, the Jets got absolutely massacred 49-19 by New England, the franchise they will always want to be but never will become. The Patriots score thirty five points in 2 minutes 14 seconds thanks to a flurry of turnovers. None of which more infamous than…The Butt Fumble. A play where Mark Sanchez inexplicably rams his head up his own lineman’s asshole and fumbles the ball for a New England touchdown. Mark Sanchez’s Butt Fumble is the defining moment of Sanchez’s career and a perfect microcosm for this Jets regime – a bunch of bumbling, fumbling idiots with their heads up their asses who can’t get out of their own way. This fumble and this Thanksgiving Massacre will be how the Rex Ryan/Mark Sanchez era will always be remembered. It erased any success their famous “2 straight AFC Championship games” may have bought them. Cuncel Da Rex. Cuncel Da Sanchez. Cuncel Da Jets.
Honorable Mention: Fireman Ed Quits As A Jets Fan
After the Thanksgiving Day Massacre, professional cheerleader and asshole Fireman Ed retires as Jets mascot. The most diehard delusional idiot Jets fan of all finally sees the light and abandons ship. The team looked so ugly and fans at the stadium were such assholes, this guy decided he couldn’t wear his helmet and yell J E T S anymore. Dark, dark days for Gang Green.