I’ve seen just about everything there is to see on the internet. From 2 Girls 1 Cup to animal porn to crazy injuries to people getting beheaded and hit by trains. And I can easily say this is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Not since the Bird Lady in Home Alone 2 have I seen something as sickening. When that Bird Lady slowly appears from behind the rock when Kevin McCallister’s ankle is stuck between the rocks in Central Park and she’s fuckin covered head to toe with those winged spawns of Satan I can’t even look at the screen. I cover my eyes like a child. But at least that shit is just a movie and that broad is an actress and getting paid to allow pigeons to sit on top of her head and what not.

But this guy. This fucking guy. This Birdman. Dude is just getting flapped in the face by pigeon wings non stop. He’s got flying vermin nestled up against his neck. He’s been getting covered with bird shit and pigeon plague for nine fucking years. He’s got pigeon feathers in his mouth. Do you realize how disgusting this is?

If I could punch one person in the face, it would be him. Like Congratufuckinlations, pal. You’re covered in pigeons. You want a cookie? You want a medal? You think because you’re some sort of social misfit with horribly low standards for human cleanliness and hygiene that you deserve something? Way to contribute to society asshole. Probably busy collecting welfare checks dipping pigeon feathers in bird shit for breakfast while the rest of us prop up the economy.

PS – “Go ahead, Crotch” is the worst comeback of all time