The Blog-Off
So Neil, or “Chemo,” as he has so endearingly been nicknamed, is getting absolutely torn apart by you savages in the comment sections on Barstool Chicago. I feel his pain. He reminds me a lot of myself, just more creepy, pale, skinny, serial killer looking, and gay. But the hate is virtually the exact same shit I got early on.
So here’s an opportunity for Neil to try and prove himself. The Blog-Off will pit Neil, Feitelberg, KFC, and myself together on the same news article, video, or any other big story. That’s where stoolies come in. We’re looking for something huge to center this contest around. I’m talking Octomom huge. If you see a fitting story unfolding, tweet either @JFeitelberg, @StoolPizzaBoy, @KFCBarstool, or @StoolChicago and we’ll use it if we think it’s big enough. Articles will go up at the exact same time with the writer’s identity kept hidden. Blind submissions will ensure that there will be no bias from those of you lining up to suck KFC’s dick when it comes to voting for the best blog. I really don’t see all the hype surrounding Kevin’s shit. I’m pretty sure he pulls up a Mad Libs template from MS Word before every blog and just fills in the blanks.
KFC Blog Template:
“Now in my all years as an Internet smut peddler, I’ve learned to never trust a guy like [Name]. I wouldn’t pay a dime for this [service discussed in article]. If 5-year-old KFC wanted to ride a big wheel, 5-year-old KFC rode his big wheel. ***Break for donuts. You earned it, Kevin. Good work*** Cuncel da saeson. Breaking Bad. Fan Duel.”
So the Blog-Off is set, as long as you guys actually want it, and it’s not just another extravagant Marketing Madness tournament that people end up resenting. Vote 1 for Yes, 10 for No.
(305 votes, average: 1.72 out of 10)
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KFC editor’s note: See? What did I tell you? Pizza boy is just like fuckin Neal. Always bugging me with these new ideas and shit. Yea yea, blog off. Whatever dude. I’m gonna annihilate anything you write. Just shut the fuck up.
strasser you forgot to include “for sure not” and “bubble in A on the scantron folks”
Clancy, you’re not offended that your own minion delivery boy has called you out amongst a cancer patient and a bed-wetter in a blogging contest?
fuckbags. this is the concept of barstool. each site posts the same stories daily.
this is not a new idea you pizza delivering mo
fabregas the new idea is to have them blog those same stories anonymously…which barstool doesn’t normally do
Not including Mo?
Barstool should have an obituary section that Neil can spearhead. That’s right up his humor alley!
…and maybe we could have the first story be about the titanic!
Good idea, but I can guarantee that KFC will fuck all of you up.
“Now in my all years as an Internet smut peddler, I’ve learned to never trust a guy like [Name]. I wouldn’t pay a dime for this [service discussed in article]. If 5-year-old KFC wanted to ride a big wheel, 5-year-old KFC rode his big wheel. ***Break for donuts. You earned it, Kevin. Good work*** Cuncel da saeson. Breaking Bad. Fan Duel.”
Im still crying. A+ hahahahah Pizza boy ftwwwwww
Id rather see KFC post under Chemos name on BS Chicago and see if the idiot commenters can see the difference.
I think it should just be KFC vs Portnoy. Neal is a hack, and I am not just being a dick to the new guy, he is no fucking good. You only know baseball, like unless it involved something involving a-rod you would be like derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And Feitelberg is funny in a retarded younger brother kind of way. KFC V Portnoy for BSS glory.
KFC for the win, feits in second and pizza boy should join Neal, climb the sears tower, hold hands and jump. Thelma and Louise style the fuck out of their demise as bloggers.
why not include the lanky black guy? inept playwright needs some competition for last place.
Neil is going to stand out like the a cancer patient in an eating competition
you racists didn’t include mo?? the fuck?
poor kmarko. The U doesnt even come up in discussion.
And MadLibs was spot on..well played
Strasser, when exactly did you prove yourself? You still feel Neil’s pain.
This actually a great idea Strasser and we don’t suck KFC dick. He is just legitimately better then all of you. Anyway I got it shaking out like this: KFC, Strasser , Neil, then fietlberg ( dude is a fucking loser and makes no one laugh ever)
This should be even better than the “best ad campaign” thing Strasser came up with that nobody read a while back. Having to separately tweet all four of you retards makes your plan suck worse. If you want to make this work, you have to come up with a harsh punishment for the loser. Feitelberg eating an ookie cookie? That’s what Davey Pageviews would make happen if he wasn’t so fat and old.
This was actually one of your best posts. Actually made me a chuckle a few times. Is it possible you have a girlfriend? Ya, but she has to be at least 250 plus and makes you sit in the bathroom with her when she drops her 10lbs logs and makes you wipe her.
As long as neil doesnt use any giveaway words like “neaty” and “freakin’…” then he’ll be fine and pres will get voted straight to the bottom.
Pres isn’t even funny Crosby. He’s probably 3rd or 4th on barstool. Kmarko vs KFC
**NEIL BLOG TEMPLATE**
“I love watching titanic and getting rammed in the ass by my father”
Loser has to give pres “the goat”
get kmarko in there so kfc has some legitimate competition and you gotta include mo as well…everyone but gonzo should be involved in this thing
It goes everybody else ever—->Scott->KFC->Manzo
blumpkin
FUCK NIEL WITH A SANDUSKY DICK
I like the idea but how’s the voting going to work? You going to use that great 10 star system that’s plagued barstool over the years?
Im pullin for Pizza Boy. Quietly the dude is good. if you dont think we will know which blog is Chemo’s(im the creator of that awesome nickname, thnx) then ur gravely underestimating the power of the stoolies. Im glad my boy Mo isnt taking part in this circle jerk. Besides Prez, Mo’s the only one with his own style.