(DM)We’re used to hearing stories of how fast news can travel on the internet. But rarely do we see how effective it can be at tracking down suspects who would otherwise remain anonymous. When a Burger King employee posted pictures of himself stepping in bins of lettuce, offended fast-food lovers took a mere 15 minutes to expose him. The image was captioned with the words, ‘This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King’ and posted on internet image board 4chan. However, the other 4chan users were so appalled by the man’s actions they took the GPS data included in the picture and pinpointed where it was taken: Cleveland. Once the local news media were contacted, it was only a matter of time before the unsanitary suspect was uncovered.

Burn this man at the stake right now. I’m actually grateful the Daily Mail has the good journalism sense not to publish his name because I’d be on a flight right now to take some vigilante justice. Don’t fuck with my Whopper bro. People who fuck with stranger’s food might be the most disturbed people on the planet. Anyone who takes a perverse joy in wiping their dick cheese all over my chicken nuggets is obviously going to graduate to more heinous crimes eventually. Put a stop to it now and throw his prick in the fry-o-lator. I mean I know that working in the service industry sucks, I worked in an Italian restaurant as a teenager and have done bartending here and there since. I know what it’s like to have a customer freak out because they don’t have enough napkins when you got 20 other things going on. But I still never considered fucking with anyone’s food or drink. This guy should be raped with a bunch of Chicken Stix while he wears one of those paper crowns and eats a pile of a customer’s special sauce. He’s the low of the low.

PS – i hate myself for craving a Whopper right now. This is the best marketing strategy BK has had since those commercials where the king would pick off a pass and run it back.