The Definitive List Of Hot Chicks From The 90s
So yesterday on the blog I ended up referencing a couple throwback smokeshows from the 90s, namely Cameron Diaz in her role in The Mask. And it got my wheels turning about the hottest chicks from this decade. Now obviously there are gonna be the Pamela Anderson Baywatch choices and the 90s was the rise of the Supermodel, but I also dug deep for some of those sleeper picks that made your pants tingle when you were like 13 years old. So join me on a trip down memory lane with thigh high bikini bottoms and big fake tits. Its the hot chicks of the 90s. (Please note for the most part, theres no particular order, except for the last 5 or so)
Scully From X Files
PSYCHE! Just fucking with you. This pale ginger was gross. I think I’d rather have fucked Mulder or the Smoking Man. Ok now its time to really start:
Jamie Powell In Charles In Charge
Might as well start at the beginning. Nicole Eggert AKA Jamie Powell was the first girl that let me know I wasn’t gay. I was like 5 years old and playing out fantasies where KFC was In Charge and I was her baby sitter and got to make out with her.
Daisy Fuentes
Smokeshow that competed in MTV Rock N Jock? Could be my dream girl. No doubt Dan Cortese and Bill Bellamy double teamed her
Cameron Diaz, specifically as her role as Tina Carlyle in The Mask
I explained my feelings about Cameron in The Mask in yesterday’s blog. She’s an absolute knockout in that movie. Like a blonde Jessica Rabbit thats come to life. Long blonde hair, long tight dresses, curvy as fuck. By the way, anybody ever notice its weird her last name is Diaz? What is she, Puerto Rican or something?
Elizabeth Hurley
Remember when Hugh Grant cheated on her with a black transvestite prostitute? What an IDIOT.
Summer Sanders
Olympian. Nickelodeon’s Figure It Out. NBA Inside Stuff. Probably fucked Ahmad Rashad but whatever I’ll look the other way on that one.
Alyssa Milano – From Who’s The Boss To Poison Ivy To Charmed
You could make the argument that Alyssa Milano dominated this decade from start to finish more so than any other chick on the list. Samantha Miceli was a bad ass Brooklyn chick who could probably beat me up. So I just beat my dick to her instead. And make no mistake about it, the softcore porn Poison Ivy series was one of the most influential movies series of my life.
Gia From Full House
I’m not sure if this is exactly a prevalent choice, or just a weird KFC special, but Gia was like the original bad girl in my life. Smoking cigarettes in the bathroom and always trying to corrupt Stephanie. She was definitely that chicks giving blow jobs at 14 and losing her V card in 8th grade.
Lacey Chabert
Commenter reminded me of her. No better way to explain her than the “poor mans Jennifer Love Hewitt.” Ordinarily thats an insult, but not when JLH is a 30 out of 10.
The Wild On! Girls – Jules Asner and Brooke Burke
Like a PG-13 Girls Gone Wild. I used to watch this on E! along with the Howard Stern show hoping for something good enough to masturbate too. Hat tip goes to Jules Asner for originally hosting it but Brooke Burke took that torch and became an immortal.
Tia Carrere
First Asian I ever thought was hot. Big deal
The Happy Madison Girls – Veronica Vaughn and Virginia Vennit
Veronica Vaugh, so hot, want to touch the heiney! Virginia Venit is actually hotter now on Modern Family but still did the V.V. Adam Sandler girls proud.
Wendy Peffercorn
Cant believe that motherfucker Squints grew up to marry her
Alicia Silverstone
The original music video girl. From Cryin to Crazy to Amazing she just crushed all the Aerosmith videos as a slutty little bi-sexual minx. She whored it up real good in The Crush too. One of my favorite crushes of all time.
The Girls from Step By Step
That dumb slut Karen. Sexy tomboy Al. Mother that loved to get stuffed by Patrick Duffy. If these girls were my step sisters or mother I’d try to fuck all of them.
The Singled Out Girls – Jenny McCarthy And Carmen Electra
Both would go on to much sluttier, big fake titted careers, but they’ll always be the Singled Out Girls in my heart. Also, I will never forget this poster of Carmen Electra:
Tool Time Girls
Pam Anderson was FIRE as Lisa, but Heidi takes the cake here. How bad did Al Borland wanna fuck these chicks?
The Girls from Buffy – Sarah Michelle Gellar and Charisma Carpenter
Sarah Michelle Gellar owned Hollywood at one point. She was on Buffy for like 30 years and then she was trying to fuck her brother on Cruel Intentions. Top notch stuff. But for my money I’m taking Charisma Carpenter
Have MERCY. Which brings me to:
Aunt Becky
So lucky she got to fuck Uncle Jessie
Melody, Hey Dude
You can keep Amanda Bynes. You can have Alex Mack. Fuck Clarissa. Melody from Hey Dude is the hottest chick ever on Nickelodeon. Aside from Lori Beth Denberg of course.
WWF Divas
In a world without internet porn, Bra and Panties matches were very important.
Topanga
Yes she was weird. Yes she was prude. And yea, she got a little fat at times. But Topanga is a part of my puberty like you don’t even understand.
Natasha Henstridge, Species
Natasha Henstridge getting naked in Species was so so very important in the male development. Those sex scenes came at the perfect age when you still loved aliens and shit like a little boy does, but you also started to want to see naked chicks. Allow me to demonstrate in chart form:
The value of Natasha Henstridge getting naked and fucking dudes to death as an Alien:
1990s Supermodels – Cindy Crawford, Kathy Ireland
In my opinion, the top 2 models in a decade dominated by the rise of Supermodels.
Baywatch Chicks
Look as much as I pride myself on finding hidden gems from the 90s, if we’re being totally honest, the decade belongs to Baywatch. Pam Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth, Donna Derrico, Nicole Eggert, Carmen Electra, the list goes on and on. Unstoppable lineup.
Kelly Bundy
A white trash slut. Dumb as a balloon and DTF. Also known as, Perfect
Nikki Cox, Unhappily Ever After
Kelly Bundy 2.0. I think you could make the argument that in her prime on this show, Nikki Cox was the hottest thing ever on television.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
My number 1 crush of all time, potentially. Best tits in the history of tits. Can’t Hardly Wait. I know what you did last summer. And even though it occurred post 1990s, I’ll allow it – Heartbreakers. Sexiest movie role of all time.
Kelly Kapowski
Pound for pound the hottest TV girl ever. Blows Topanga and Winnie Cooper out of the water. When you think of high school cheerleader, you think Kelly Kapowski. The hottest most stereotypical chick of the 1990s.
Wild Things Threesome chicks
Probably the single most important moment of my life was seeing the Wild Things Threesome. Neve Campbell coming off her days of Scream. Denise Richards in her prime. Making out and pour champagne on each other. That was the day I became a man. Every straight red blooded male will analyze their life as BWTT and AWTT. Before Wild Things Threesome and After Wild Things Threesomes.
Important Note – I know Hit Me Baby One More Time came out in 1999, but I’m considering Britney a chick of the 2000s so she’s not eligible in my mind
Honorable mentions:
Rachel and Monica from Friends.
The chicks from 90210
Jessie from Saved by the Bell doing Showgirls
A pretty thorough and comprehensive list, if you ask me. But I’m sure theres some chicks out there I missed or some girls you guys loved more than I did. Add on and if I missed and really important ones I’ll update the blog.
weaksauce
kfc just take the rest of the day off, you deserve it. A+++
vanessa marcil, 90210. cmon clancy, step your game up. oh and fancy from jamie foxx show can get it too.
Nicole Eggert’s best work was in Blown Away, taking the Corey’s to pound town all day
I used to rub it out to Wild on E! in middle school all the time. Didn’t have my own computer yet and we were too poor to afford premium programming like HBO, so Real Sex and Cathouse were out of the question.
In all seriousness this is Pulitzer worthy. Top notch research + analysis
wendy peffercorn
I remember cranking it to a few Shannon Tweed softies back in the day, the original milf. I think she deserves to be acknowledged here.
matt dillon pocketing the panties top 5 scenes in all cinema
that was awesome
You totally left off the chick from the new Weird Science and Kingpin. Veronica Angel or something.
I love Dillion putting Denise Richards thong in his pocket. What is he going to do with that later, gas mask maybe coffee filter?
The definitive Friday mail in piece, a topic everyone is sure to have an opinion on and comment on. Well played.
you forgot Jennie Garth, Vanessa Marcil, Mena Suvari & Neve Campbell
Blog of the year, very little I disagree with. Rose McGowan in doom generation was a miss however.
Best work you’ve ever done. Historic day for the Stool.
I would have included: Katie Holmes-Dawson’s creek, Lacy Chabert (the poor mans Jennifew love hewwit)- Party of 5, Kelly Taylor- 90210
Demi Moore bro, she ran shit back then. Jesse Spano in Showgirls, riding that dude in the pool FTW. The Olsens (grown up version).
Jennifer Love Hewitt is my all time favorite… But insta-boner from Nikki Cox, I almost forgot about those titties
Nice work.
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Honorable Mentions: Fran Drescher, “The Nanny” and Maura Cork, the referee from Nikelodeon “Guts”
The WWE chicks has to include Sunny. Without Sunny, there is no Trish Stratus
elizabeth hurley
I can’t narrow that list down, there all my favorites. All of them are on my list.
Al from step by step didn’t become hot until the 2000s and Summer Sanders is built like a #2 pencil, zero curves.
Summer Fucking Sanders
i couldn’t even guess how many times i beat my meat to kathy ireland and her SI swimsuit edition. 200 times? 300? i perfected the art of masturbation to that issue.
Props to the Maura cook reference @cantget, but you’re crazy.
i used to get rock hard whenever moira quirk (the ref from guts) came on screen. Mike O’Malley definitely fucked her on the aggro crag.
First movie tits I ever saw were Demi Moore’s in Striptease… that movie catalyzed by change from boy to pervert.
This should have been a “Click to Read More” post. I’m reading this on an iPhone, Clancy. That’s a shit ton of scrolling.
Solid post, though.
Ive spilled more seed to Elaine Benes than Michael J Fox at a birdfeeder.
Kevin, you surely out did yourself on this one
i gotta throw a couple cougars in the mix, sharon stone and demi moore.
Also I was in love with Topanga as well. I am glad she made the cut.
Kristi Swanson in The Chase ’94
Kari Wuhrer – Remote Control MTV
Also on Bayatch, Erika Eleniak
Ive jerked it to alyssa milano so many times its kind of creepy
How are you gonna show the step by step girls but leave out the nerdy blonde, I think her name was Dana? I used to think she was way hotter than her brunette sister; that is, of course, until the youngest daughter started to grow up.
you my friend, are a fucking renaissance man. i mean, it’s friday so you could’ve gone the way of neil or mo and mailed it in today (ok fine, they mail it in everyday) but no, you decided to turn it up a notch. jordan, bryant, sanders, kfc – they all have that extra gear…all the great ones do.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0443824/
loved this bitch
The pink Power Ranger, Kimberly, was also a smoke.
danica Mckellar. More now than then, but you get the point.
Was really worried Jennifer Love Hewitt wasn’t gonna make it. She’s untouchable in Can’t Hardly Wait, which also happens to be a superb movie. Fantastic work
@cantgetthestinkout: Her name was Moira Quirk. Solid reference though.
And Summer Sanders isn’t as hot as I remember.
I became more and more upset not seeing Tiffany Amber Thiessen (Kelly Kapowski) as I scrolled down the list. But I’m good now.
Just updated to include Elizabeth Hurley and Lacey Chabert. Good call fellas. The fact that Whorefrost called this a mailed in blog makes me want to hunt him down and murder him with my bare hands. This took an eternity.
Agree Khari Wuhrer made some great soft core
Shannon Elizabeth being left off this list is also a travesty.
@Valbroski In hindsight it makes absolutely no sense. I would have fucked a toaster when I was 10
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@GiantsDomination Greg Giraldo called from heaven and he wants his joke back.
wow. i used to think summer sanders was soo hot back then, i have no idea why now
I used to download pictures of WWF divas on limewire all the time.
Ashley Banks from Fresh Prince all fucking day…
This list is perfection. Maybe throw in some Star Search Spokesmodels.
Patty Mayonnaise coulda got that dick tho
lacey chabert was like 10 in party of 5
Hello Winnie Cooper?????
Kianna’s Flex Appeal right before school on ESPN 2 got the day started on the right nut.
if i bottled up all the jizz from the times i masturbated to SI swimsuit edition from 1993-1997 i’d have at least 3-5 gallons.
Kathy Ireland deserves a tuggie
Pink Power Ranger.
Gadget from Rescue Rangers alllll day
You had me until Britney Spears That ruined it for me. No prob though I already shot my rocks off before I got there.
Yasmine Bleeth, remember her fake celeb nude pic of her in that see through raincoat
Shannon Elizabeth was like Britney Spears. American Pie didnt come out till 1999. Too late in the game to be considered a 90s game changer.
A+, totally tounge punch every fartbox on this list
Not gonna lie… When I saw that pic of the bitch from species I started hyperventilating when the rush of emotions and memories came flooding back.. Almost had to start breathing into the brown paper bag I brought for lunch
Kianna’s flex appeal is an incredible call took the Asian game to a whole new level.
Spice Girls also a notable omission (take your pick on which one, except Sporty – if you like Sporty you have the gay)
that venn diagram is the best thing on the internet
that chart was spot on.
need some love for Kayla from Airheads though
Natasha Henstridge in the scene in Species STILL is a winner. I was a Nicole Eggert fan. That’s why seeing her now, butt ugly and blown up like a tick is so devastating.
KFC, Shannon Elizabeth started in 1995. Christ she was even on an episode of Step By Step.
There’s nothing wrong with Scully, you boob.
A++ “In a world without internet porn, Bra and Panties matches were very important.” Thats why you are not only the best blogger on Barstool, but the best blogger on the internet.
What about Six from Blossom? Downtown Julie Brown? Heather Graham? Vivica A. Fox? Rachel Leigh Cook?
gotta include pre-scientology katie holmes. hot tomboy look to the max.
No love for Alex Mac?
This blog was so good that if Neil wrote it I would actually say it was good
Holy lord kevin. Excellent work. I’d would’ve throw it in DJ Tanner at certain points. Also, that blonde girl from the wonder years that kevin started dating when whinny went to the other school. More of a prepubescent crush though
How about Krista Allen? She made all those Emmanuel movies in the ’90′s….god bless early ’90′s Cinemax.
B.t.w. You can go fuck yourself Clancy. Scully was a certified smoke.
Best Barstool blogger by far. You deserve a pay raise sir.
Kelly Kapowski, I would nut all over that tummy yet be courteous enough to not let any get on her shirt
missing: Joey Lauren Adams. tell me you never tugged to the changing room scene in mall rats and you’re a fucking liar.
KFC just broke the internet.
Doctorjac….great Star Search reference. I’d watch that shit on a Sunday afternoon then suddenly remember I had homework due the next day and fly upstairs to what I could remember of Bobbi Brown.
Demi Moore in striptease still gives me wood
kimberly the pink power ranger
still shocked that nikki cox is still married to jay mohr. well done kevin, i kept scrolling and thinking of people and you just kept going hitting a homerun on every pitch thrown your way. love it
The Pink Ranger is from Massachusetts.
And Lacey Chabert is very underrated.
Stacey Dash
What about Ali Landry aka the Doritos girl–c’mon KFC
my google search history today is every one of these girls names with the word ‘naked’ after
how did we forget Kerri Russel???
You need to start a series on “Women I’m Ashamed To Admit I Wanna Bang”…first up, Bonnie Hunt!
The only thing I’m mad about in this blog is that you omitted “dinosaurs” from the list of 6-9 thought process. Ninjas? Really? Fag.
Nice work, now go have a beer or twelve.
Anyone remember Kiana’s Flex Appeal on espn during summer break?
out of left field here – clearly not referring to what she is today… but Cheers-era Kirstie Alley did it for me.
Al from Step By Step is still hot as shit. http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Christine+Lakin&qpvt=Christine+Lakin&FORM=IGRE
GTFO here with Scully, you serious? Anndd biggest over-site ever, not including Jessica Biel when she was on 7th Heaven
add Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation because nerds need to crank it too.
Definitely want Joey from Dawson’s Creek on this list.
Scully from X-Files is the real life example of the chick from Seinfeld who was hot only in certain lights. Sometimes Scully was a smoke. Other times she was a hideous pale ghoul. And A++++ fuckin work KFC
Heidi from Tool Time!
stacey dash, get some color in there
you include Buffy and Cordelia and leave out Faith? C’mon man…Eliza Dushku cannot be overlooked…and yes I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer…but just this last year on Netflix so it’s not gay…however the fact that I went on to watch the spin off Angel is the pinnacle of faggotry and I have no excuses for it…oh and Winifred from Angel was hot too but that was probably 2000/2001
KFC, excellent job, but it’s disturbing that you give a fuck about what an asshole like whorefrost thinks.
Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls.
as if we needed another reminder of how superior kfc is to prez…
I caught myself shaking my head at the accuracy of this post. Everything was spot on. We must be the EXACT same age, because when you said you used to watch Wild On and Howard Stern waiting for something to beat off to I had flashbacks. That was a SOLID year of my life doing the exact same thing. This is so good I’m bookmarking it.
carmen electra gave me 95% of my early boners…btw incredible pie charts
That by far was the the most spot on article i have ever read on this website, I am sending this link to all my friends. Man; kick your feet up and relax; job well done !!!!
hilary from fresh prince.
Seriously, has anyone on this list aged worse than Nicole Eggert? As far as I know there’s no meth or H involved, just a love of corn dogs. Damn shame. Joey Lauren Adams might should’ve made the cut. Her topless scene in Mallrats was great and she was the only chick who could start the launch sequence with just her voice.
A+
Comet from Full House.
So on point, just ridiculous! honorable mentions for Erika Eleniak – Under Siege, Jennifer Connelly – The Rocketeer
Rose McGowan from Doom Generation?
The Blue Power Ranger
Milli Vanilli.
Alf.
Honorable mention: the kid from Free Willy.
Splinter from Ninja Turtles.
I’d stick my dick in between the fence for Wilson Wilson.
Those scenes in Species definitely changed me forever.
Top-notch list. Three personal favs I would have included are Kimberly (the Pink Power Ranger), Kristy Swanson (I’d still give up a nut to smash that now), and though it started in the 80s, APRIL mother fucking O’Neil for the TMNT cartoon.
All those muddy people in the Bullet with Butterfly Wings video. Orgy central.
http://www.comicvine.com/april-oneil/29-44968/all-images/108-218900/500full/105-2680693/
I second the Jennifer Connelly recommendation. The Hot Spot beach scene is a classic and she had a bunch of other A+ topless scenes. Perfect rack.
“Nicole Eggert AKA Jamie Powell was the first girl that let me know I wasn’t gay.” This line deserves a fucking billboard, A+
Another vote for Jennifer Connelly. How about in “Career Opportunities” whens she’s riding the fucking quarter horse in a wife beater…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=fOmjVez0iRQ#t=247s
Nailed it. The Scully zing at the beginning was great too – I was physically upset she was on the list until I read the text.
Wild Things scene opened up a whole new world.
The chick from Weird Science was/is Kelly LeBrock. Uber-hot back then. But that movie was from the 80s so it don’t count. Some faves that others have mentioned: Erika Elyniak, Nicole Eggert, Kiana’s Flex Appeal (made a LOT of socks crusty thanks to her), Alyssa Milano, Kathy Ireland. Fuck, I just jizzed in my pants and I wasn’t even drinking coffee…
Topanga and Kathy Ireland were cornerstones of my sexual development.
“In a world without internet porn, Bra and Panties matches were very important.”
Hilarious, A+ blog. Slow clap.
Just got a nostalgia boner
You’ve shown time and time again that you’re too good to be working for portnoy. Branch out and do your thing already. You are literally carrying barstool on your back
Heartbreakers – best boner inducing, non-porno movie ever made.
this is the absolute best blog/collection of words thats ever been written. I bow at your greatness (and im ronnie coleman, mr olympia) yeah buddy.
KFC, if you have ever thought of pulling a John Elway and going out while you are at the pinnacle of your game, this is it. Perhaps the greatest blog ever written in the history of bloggdom. Truly a masterpiece.
The noxzema girl. Rebecca Gayheart. Chick did it for me.
A+ sir. I’ve faped to a few of these lady’s oh the memories
Cranking off to Kelly Kapowski daily after school was about as routine as tying your shoes in the morning, from about 1991-1994
Fantastic list, but did I black out and miss Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct / Sliver? Basic Instinct has like 6 scenes that changed the world in 1992.
I enjoyed the use of graphs to illustrate your points. Excellent and interesting. I just know you left someone out but I can’t think who. Soooo A+!
Isn’t it something though, we used to jerk off to a flash of tit or a ass in tight pants. Now watching fully naked just don’t do it sometimes…
Important Note – I know The In Crowd came out in 2000, but I’m considering Susan Ward a chick of the 1990s so she’s eligible in my mind.
Bodyshaping girls. It made me late for school every day.
This is probably the most important blog have written. I don’t know how the girl from the Nada Surf ‘Popular’ video doesn’t make the cut though.
Carmen from Carmen San Diego?
Cindy Crawford OWNED the nineties!
I would suck start the pink power rangers butt hole if she was backed up.
uhhhh the olsen twins season one?
Shannon Tweed.
Great list but missed a couple that caused me to bust many a nut. If you’re bringing up Sandler’s V.V. girls where’s Vicky Vallencourt? Also, Salma Hayek in ‘Desperado’ may have been the most boner inducing sight there’s ever been ever!