So yesterday on the blog I ended up referencing a couple throwback smokeshows from the 90s, namely Cameron Diaz in her role in The Mask. And it got my wheels turning about the hottest chicks from this decade. Now obviously there are gonna be the Pamela Anderson Baywatch choices and the 90s was the rise of the Supermodel, but I also dug deep for some of those sleeper picks that made your pants tingle when you were like 13 years old. So join me on a trip down memory lane with thigh high bikini bottoms and big fake tits. Its the hot chicks of the 90s. (Please note for the most part, theres no particular order, except for the last 5 or so)

Scully From X Files

PSYCHE! Just fucking with you. This pale ginger was gross. I think I’d rather have fucked Mulder or the Smoking Man. Ok now its time to really start:

Jamie Powell In Charles In Charge

Might as well start at the beginning. Nicole Eggert AKA Jamie Powell was the first girl that let me know I wasn’t gay. I was like 5 years old and playing out fantasies where KFC was In Charge and I was her baby sitter and got to make out with her.

Daisy Fuentes

Smokeshow that competed in MTV Rock N Jock? Could be my dream girl. No doubt Dan Cortese and Bill Bellamy double teamed her

Cameron Diaz, specifically as her role as Tina Carlyle in The Mask

I explained my feelings about Cameron in The Mask in yesterday’s blog. She’s an absolute knockout in that movie. Like a blonde Jessica Rabbit thats come to life. Long blonde hair, long tight dresses, curvy as fuck. By the way, anybody ever notice its weird her last name is Diaz? What is she, Puerto Rican or something?

Elizabeth Hurley

Remember when Hugh Grant cheated on her with a black transvestite prostitute? What an IDIOT.

Summer Sanders

Olympian. Nickelodeon’s Figure It Out. NBA Inside Stuff. Probably fucked Ahmad Rashad but whatever I’ll look the other way on that one.

Alyssa Milano – From Who’s The Boss To Poison Ivy To Charmed

You could make the argument that Alyssa Milano dominated this decade from start to finish more so than any other chick on the list. Samantha Miceli was a bad ass Brooklyn chick who could probably beat me up. So I just beat my dick to her instead. And make no mistake about it, the softcore porn Poison Ivy series was one of the most influential movies series of my life.

Gia From Full House

I’m not sure if this is exactly a prevalent choice, or just a weird KFC special, but Gia was like the original bad girl in my life. Smoking cigarettes in the bathroom and always trying to corrupt Stephanie. She was definitely that chicks giving blow jobs at 14 and losing her V card in 8th grade.

Lacey Chabert

Commenter reminded me of her. No better way to explain her than the “poor mans Jennifer Love Hewitt.” Ordinarily thats an insult, but not when JLH is a 30 out of 10.

The Wild On! Girls – Jules Asner and Brooke Burke

Like a PG-13 Girls Gone Wild. I used to watch this on E! along with the Howard Stern show hoping for something good enough to masturbate too. Hat tip goes to Jules Asner for originally hosting it but Brooke Burke took that torch and became an immortal.

Tia Carrere

First Asian I ever thought was hot. Big deal

The Happy Madison Girls – Veronica Vaughn and Virginia Vennit

Veronica Vaugh, so hot, want to touch the heiney! Virginia Venit is actually hotter now on Modern Family but still did the V.V. Adam Sandler girls proud.

Wendy Peffercorn

Cant believe that motherfucker Squints grew up to marry her

Alicia Silverstone

The original music video girl. From Cryin to Crazy to Amazing she just crushed all the Aerosmith videos as a slutty little bi-sexual minx. She whored it up real good in The Crush too. One of my favorite crushes of all time.

The Girls from Step By Step

That dumb slut Karen. Sexy tomboy Al. Mother that loved to get stuffed by Patrick Duffy. If these girls were my step sisters or mother I’d try to fuck all of them.

 The Singled Out Girls – Jenny McCarthy And Carmen Electra

Both would go on to much sluttier, big fake titted careers, but they’ll always be the Singled Out Girls in my heart. Also, I will never forget this poster of Carmen Electra:

Tool Time Girls

Pam Anderson was FIRE as Lisa, but Heidi takes the cake here. How bad did Al Borland wanna fuck these chicks?

The Girls from Buffy – Sarah Michelle Gellar and Charisma Carpenter

Sarah Michelle Gellar owned Hollywood at one point. She was on Buffy for like 30 years and then she was trying to fuck her brother on Cruel Intentions. Top notch stuff. But for my money I’m taking Charisma Carpenter

Have MERCY. Which brings me to:

Aunt Becky

So lucky she got to fuck Uncle Jessie

Melody, Hey Dude

You can keep Amanda Bynes. You can have Alex Mack. Fuck Clarissa. Melody from Hey Dude is the hottest chick ever on Nickelodeon. Aside from Lori Beth Denberg of course.

WWF Divas

In a world without internet porn, Bra and Panties matches were very important.

 

Topanga

Yes she was weird. Yes she was prude. And yea, she got a little fat at times. But Topanga is a part of my puberty like you don’t even understand.

Natasha Henstridge, Species

Natasha Henstridge getting naked in Species was so so very important in the male development. Those sex scenes came at the perfect age when you still loved aliens and shit like a little boy does, but you also started to want to see naked chicks. Allow me to demonstrate in chart form:

The value of Natasha Henstridge getting naked and fucking dudes to death as an Alien:

1990s Supermodels – Cindy Crawford, Kathy Ireland

In my opinion, the top 2 models in a decade dominated by the rise of Supermodels.

Baywatch Chicks

Look as much as I pride myself on finding hidden gems from the 90s, if we’re being totally honest, the decade belongs to Baywatch. Pam Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth, Donna Derrico, Nicole Eggert, Carmen Electra, the list goes on and on. Unstoppable lineup.

Kelly Bundy

A white trash slut. Dumb as a balloon and DTF. Also known as, Perfect

Nikki Cox, Unhappily Ever After

Kelly Bundy 2.0. I think you could make the argument that in her prime on this show, Nikki Cox was the hottest thing ever on television.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

My number 1 crush of all time, potentially. Best tits in the history of tits. Can’t Hardly Wait. I know what you did last summer. And even though it occurred post 1990s, I’ll allow it – Heartbreakers. Sexiest movie role of all time.

Kelly Kapowski

Pound for pound the hottest TV girl ever. Blows Topanga and Winnie Cooper out of the water. When you think of high school cheerleader, you think Kelly Kapowski. The hottest most stereotypical chick of the 1990s.

Wild Things Threesome chicks

Probably the single most important moment of my life was seeing the Wild Things Threesome. Neve Campbell coming off her days of Scream. Denise Richards in her prime. Making out and pour champagne on each other. That was the day I became a man. Every straight red blooded male will analyze their life as BWTT and AWTT. Before Wild Things Threesome and After Wild Things Threesomes.

Important Note – I know Hit Me Baby One More Time came out in 1999, but I’m considering Britney a chick of the 2000s so she’s not eligible in my mind

Honorable mentions:

Rachel and Monica from Friends.

The chicks from 90210

Jessie from Saved by the Bell doing Showgirls

A pretty thorough and comprehensive list, if you ask me. But I’m sure theres some chicks out there I missed or some girls you guys loved more than I did. Add on and if I missed and really important ones I’ll update the blog.