GothamistThe 69-year-old man who brought the Flatiron District to a standstill with a mistaken hostage crisis on Wednesday was released from court yesterday without bail. Kenneth Clarfield was arrested after cops kicked his door down at the end of a three hour standoff that was sparked, according to Clarfied, when he yelled and wagged his finger at construction workers on a scaffold outside his 11th floor apartment. Greeting reporters outside Manhattan Criminal Court, Clarfield wagged his tongue and told reporters, “You want a picture of me? Here’s your f—ing picture!” Clarfield concedes now that he did shout at the workers — but used the word “drilling,” not “killing.” He also insists he waved his fingers, not a gun, and all he wanted to do was make his spaghetti and meatballs, but the construction wasn’t giving him any peace.According to the Post, Clarfied explained that the worker he yelled at misinterpreted everything: “He’s wearing a turban, and it’s covering his ears, and perhaps English is his second language. I have nothing against these people. I love southern Asian food. But I don’t like someone with a turban who I’ve never met drilling into my apartment.” No gun was found in his apartment when police finally broke in, but prosecutors noted that Clarfield left the apartment to go buy a pepper between the time he allegedly threatened the workers and when hostage negotiators swarmed his East 22nd Street building. He’s charged with menacing and weapons possession, both misdemeanors, and his lawyer told reporters yesterday, “I thought they were going to allege that he threatened them with a spaghetti fork.” Clarfield, a retired business writer and trade association executive, explained that he resisted police for so long because the SWAT team outside his apartment refused to show him their identification,

So for anyone who missed this story this dude shut down the whole Flatiron district primarily because they thought he had a gun. Personally I was more horrified by the Daisy Duke shorts and the “For Richer Or Poorer” V-neck. But it turns out that it was all just some misunderstanding and my man right here was just trying to make his meatballs and spaghetti in peace. Can’t blame him for flying off the handle a little bit, can you? I mean find me one person in the world who doesn’t agree with this statement:

“I don’t like someone with a turban who I’ve never met drilling into my apartment.”

That phrase right there can pretty much be applied universally. Even other people who rock turbans would probably still agree with that. So all in all, Kenny Clarfield was trying to make some meatballs and spaghetti, told some A-rabs to stop drilling, their turbans were covering their ears, and next thing you know we’ve got mass hysteria on our hands. I mean I hate to racial profile here but if these were a bunch of Irish construction workers I don’t think we would have had this problem on our hands.