Daily MailDrive-in sex booths will be launched in Zurich next year to get prostitutes off the streets and working in a safer environment, it has emerged. Voters in Switzerland’s biggest city gave their approval for the sex booth scheme in a referendum earlier this year. Under the plan, potential clients will able to drive their car into the sex booths on a first come first served basis to meet prostitutes rather than picking them up off the street. There will be enough booths constructed on the outskirts of the city to accommodate around 30 prostitutes. City officials hope the booths, which will come with inbuilt panic alarms, will be ready for launch in August. An on-site counsellor will also be provided in the taxpayer funded scheme. It is hoped the move will help make the sex industry much safer and more regulated. Prostitution will be banned in certain parts of the city and confined to the booths and two other zones after they open in August. Michael Herzig, spokesperson for Zurich Social Welfare Department, said: ’The big difference is that until now prostitution is in a public space. ‘Now we are going to change this, transfer it from the street, from a public to a private space to an old industrial area which belongs to the city that give us the possibility to define the rules of prostitution in this space. ‘The women will be better protected from attack, and it will also mean better business for them. ‘With the women right by the sex boxes there is no “travel time” so they can deal with more customers. It’s a better business model than standing on the street.’ Prostitutes will also have to apply for a licence, register with a health insurer and buy a ticket each night before they begin soliciting.

Oh cool, your one-stop shop for pussy you’re not supposed to be getting. Fuck that. There’s nothing “private” about having to wait in a line of cars at the entrance of a first-come-first-serve whore stable with all the other lowlifes soliciting sex. We don’t need to make it any more shameful by surrounding yourself with the group of studs you’re lumped in with, and we certainly don’t need to see a neighbor or the creepy dude from the mail room waving & beeping at you as they’re leaving. Plus, how long before it becomes a haven for suspicious girlfriends & wives to stake out and bust their cheating men as they pull in? No thanks. I prefer to keep my hooker indulgence mobile so, if by some chance someone I know catches me in negotiations with a lady of the night on the side of the road, I was simply asking for directions.

Plus, spontaneity is part of the allure. If I wanted to fuck at the same place all the time I’d just fuck at home. I guess choosing between 30 sluts is better than 1, but the 5 marginally hot ones will have this turn into a barber shop situation. You know, where everyone’s willing to wait for the dude with magic fade skills, telling you that you can skip them & sit in the chair the new, shitty barber is currently passed out in. Sorry but I have standards. Or at least I can pretend to when there’s no other street walkers nearby to compare my purchase with. And I’m not waiting either. I’m paying for sex for the same reason I go to Wendy’s – I want it now. Once again, if I wanted to wait forever to get laid, I’d just stay home. And don’t even get me started with the panic alarms in these booths. Taking the “Patrick Bateman” out of my sex-with-whores arsenal means I’m just fucking like I fuck at…you guessed it…home. Defeats the entire purpose.

Keep American prostitution illegal and seedy!