NY Times - Ignore the puppets for a moment. Set aside the narrative of a ragtag team of incompetent pirates. And look past the fact that the two men behind the videos featuring the pirates refuse to identify themselves.  Focus on the gold.  Because these two men, artists in their 30s, swear they have it buried somewhere in New York City: a wooden chest containing $10,000 in golden dollar coins hidden in a place where you can plant a shovel.  “You can punch me in the nose if I’m lying to you,” said one of the men, a 33-year-old freelance video editor from Brooklyn. “Which I’m not.”  What he insisted he wasn’t lying about is essentially a modern day treasure hunt, conceived as a way to increase Web traffic for the puppet videos the men produce. They say they have finished eight pirate-themed videos (to be unveiled starting today at WeLostOurGold.com) that contain all the clues necessary to find a chest they insist they have buried, containing enough of their own money to buy a car.  The first person to find the chest can keep it. The goal, they say, is for people to enjoy the videos and, maybe, pay them to produce some more.  Of course the word gold isn’t even technically correct. They say the chest contains 10,000 United States golden dollars, which are actually an alloy of copper, zinc, manganese and nickel. But the men explained that real gold coins are hard to find and wouldn’t come close to filling a treasure chest, making golden coins close enough. They say they buried the chest last November in New York. As to where, all they will say is it’s not in Central Park.

Wait I’m not following this story.  Did these guys bury $10,000 bucks somewhere in New York or didn’t they?  Like is the tone of this article suggesting it’s a joke or what?  I got no fucking read on the New York Times and their use of sarcasm.   And what the fuck are golden dollars?  Like Sacagaweas?  Can I buy beer and groceries and lap dances with these things or not?   Because if there is $10,000 usable dollars buried around New York in real life right now I’ll be marching around the city with a shovel so fucking fast it will make your head spin.   Just covering the 5 boroughs from end to end with KFC holding the treasure map and Six Ten doing all the digging.   Wait where the fuck did a couple pirate puppeteers get $10K?  From their parents?  Too many questions.  Not enough answers.  Too many puppets.  How about I just go find the guy who plays the voice of the retarded pirate and beat the shit out of him until he tells me?