Gawker – Well, there was: It seems the zebra has since been apprehended. But earlier today a Staten Island business owner spotted a zebra chasing a pony down Victory Boulevard, and quickly grabbed his camera to ensure people didn’t think he was drinking on the job when he told them the story later. ”I was sitting at my desk at about 9:20 when I saw a zebra and pony run back and forth across the street, almost getting hit by a car,” Zachary Osher of Metropolitan Drape & Blind told theStaten Island Advance. Then: “About 30 seconds later, I saw two men in dark black suits carrying lassoes running across the street.”

We got no professional sports teams…zebras and ponies are running around in the streets…our pets heads are fallin off!

I know Staten Island has always been the Forgotten Borough. And I know they recently got hit hard by Sandy. But if we’re gonna add in zebras and ponies running wild along with the Italian guindaloons and the mob wives who are still stuck in the 80s, I don’t know how much longer we can tolerate you guys. You’re practically New Jersey as it is. Just a sliver of water between you and Dirty Jerz. Someone should just fill that in with some sand, connect Staten Island to New Jersey, and all the guineas and mobsters can live in harmony with the safari animals that roam the streets.