GothamistOn Tuesday night, an 8-year-old was shot in the shoulder by a gunman on a bike in the Bronx. Armando Bigo had asked his mother to buy him some candy just before 8 p.m. at the Papa Yala’s Deli on Randall Ave. near St. Lawrence Ave. in Soundview. You can see him being shot in the video below—and afterwards, Armando was nonplussed about the situation: “I was screaming hysterically, and he said, ‘Mami, calm down, why are you crying, Mami?” said the boy’s mom, Ely Flores. “I said, ‘Baby, because you got shot.” Police believe that the gunman was likely firing at one of several men near the entrance of the store, not Armando. Store manager Mahmood Abdulrub described the scene to the Daily News: “I heard screaming. The mom cried for her son. I see this cute little boy walking over slowly – holding his left shoulder.” He then sat Armando on a milk crate to try to stop the bleeding: “He was so polite. He looked up at me with his big googly eyes and said, ‘Thank you, sir.’” Armando also apologized for spilling blood on the shop’s floor: “He kept telling me he had to spit up blood,” Abdulrub said. “He was worried about spitting blood on my floor. I kept telling him not to worry about it….It was crazy. This little boy had just been shot and he still remembered his manners.” Armando, a second-grader at PS 170 in the Bronx, was taken to Jacobi Medical Center, where he was treated for a punctured lung, a fractured rib and an injured spinal cord. He told the News from his hospital bed, “I can’t believe I got shot.” He also told his mom he didn’t want to go outside. Police are still searching for the shooter, and have offered a $12,000 reward for information leading to an arrest.

I’ll tell you what – Armando Bigo can play for my team anyday. What team, you ask? Any fucking team. Any team at all could use this kid. He’s a soldier! He’s one of my favorite people ever. Little pudgy dude just browsing the chips rack, probably lookin for some buffalo flavored pretzels, and he takes a stray bullet to the shoulder like it ain’t no thang. Mini Michelin Man had a punctured lung and fractured rib and an injured spinal cord and all he’s worried about is his mom being upset and getting blood on the floor of the bodega. Unbelievable. The other day I bit my fingernail down too low and I was out of commission. Laid in bed crying debating going to the emergency room.

Meanwhile this Manny-From-Modern-Family lookalike is the Last Action Hero. This guy should get the keys to the city, go on Letterman, sit courtside for the next Knicks game, and whatever the fuck else he wants.

Armando – get well soon bro. I’m sure you’re hurting now, but I promise you, when you go back to school and the girls hear that you survived taking a bullet, you’re gonna make up for this tragedy really, really quick.