Hory cow! All your base are belong to us! Every one of these tweets reads like an angry fortune cookie. “So you practiced to move your shoulder to look like a human being. You cared too much of controlling your eyeballs.” might be the greatest hate tweet that Twitter has ever seen.

So if I’m following this Asian correctly, and I think I am, Erin Andrews is some sort of human-animal hybrid – a genetic issue she got from her parents – with a folded face who learned to move her shoulders and control her eyeballs in order to appear human. I suppose thats not outside the realm of possibility. Although unlikely. Kind of reminds me of the movie Species with Natasha Henstridge. Remember that movie? One of the first movies along with Wild Things that I masturbated to. Anyway, that chick was an alien who took over the world by fucking dudes with her tentacles and shit. Erin Andrews could very well be on her way to doing that. The Peephole Scandal was only the beginning. Pretty soon we’ll all be at the mercy of the human-animal hybrid with the folded face.

PS – When erin andrews is dead we won’t be able to say we didn’t see it coming