The news anchors are having a fucking reporter orgasm – a reporgasm – over this fucking crane. Like they secretly love the fact that this thing is dangling on 57th street because they get to report on the drama. Channel 7 just had a “crane expert” on, whatever the fuck that means. He was like “Uhhh, that shit is gonna fall.”

You can get all the batteries you want and fill up your tub with water and shit. But when cranes start falling from the sky you’re fucked no matter what.