Daily MailYou have to hand it to Emer O’Toole. Not many 28-year-olds would go on national TV wearing a sleeveless little black frock if they hadn’t shaved their armpits for 18 months. Yet the incredibly pretty Emer proudly raised her slim arms on This Morning last week to reveal that she doesn’t shave, or wax, or pluck. And we’re not talking a bit of fluff here — she revealed underarm beards that would have made Osama bin Laden proud. Yikes, it was horrible. As were her hairy legs to match. Watching her I nearly parted company with my breakfast. Emer claims that shaving body hair is anti-feminist, and forces women to conform to ‘artificial gender norms’. ‘I started examining my own relationship with my body and my body hair,’ the graduate said. It is clearly a very close one. She has not shaved under her arms since.

Hold on one second I’ll write this blog AFTER I CLEAN THE VOMIT OFF MY KEYBOARD.

Jiminy fuckin Cricket that chick has a fucking Randy Moss afro coming out of her pits. Her pits must be like a goddam Chia Pet. Just a little water and those things are bursting. Unacceptably disgusting.

What I don’t even understand is how this is a feminist move. Whether you’re a guy or a girl armpit hair is fucking disgusting. It makes you sweat and your deodorant gets all caked up in there. Downright revolting. If I could shave my armpits and not be made fun of for all eternity I’d do it in a heartbeat. Its a fuckin pain in the ass and disgusting. It just makes no sense to pick this as your one way to go against the grain. Like what the fuck are you even talking about “your relationship with your body hair?” My relationship with my body hair is that I grow like a goddam wolf man and need to manscape like every goddam day in the hopes that I may be getting a blow job that day. Thats the shittiest relationship I’ve ever heard, no?

I understand if you wanna tell me that you’re not respected in the work place and are discriminated against for certain positions and you’re expected to stay in the kitchen and blah blah blah. But trust me, the one department you broads come out ahead is the hairless department. Be smooth and happy and don’t rock the boat, you armpit Sasquatch.