Hi Girls,

Wanted to pass this on to you for some monday morning entertainment.

I went on a date with this guy last wednesday. On the date, he tells me that he has a spreadsheet for tracking all of the people from match that are “in process”. Naturally, I tease him and ask him to send me the spreadsheet. For some strange reason, he actually does. See below/attached.

Just when I thought I had seen it all….

xoxo

Enjoy!

This is the latest email chain to float around the interweb. A true, blue old fashioned email chain that says “FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:” when you receive it because its just been sent around every office and every group of friends out there. All the girls forwarding it around are like “OMG!” “This is insane!” “Can you believe this?”

Um, yes I can believe this. Do you know how hard it is to get laid? Do you know how important it is? Its probably the hardest and most important thing out there. So why would you not manage it with a detailed excel sheet? Budgeting your expenses is hard and important. You use excel for that, right? Virtually everything you do at work is hard and important. You’re on excel all day every day in your cube, no? It only makes sense to keep your dating life updated on excel as well. How else can you keep “Arielle” and “Adrienne” in order? What about “courtney” and “Cindy?” Those are easy mixups. You expect this dude to remember off the top of his head who’s an 8 and who’s an 8.5? Gotta remember who initiated conversation and who stood you up and who’s from Romania and who has a great bod. This means color coding and comments in each cell and whatever else can help you keep your love life organized.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy has filters and Vlookups modeled into this shit for easy analysis. Probably has an inputs tab to put in various criteria to search through all these sluts. Looking for an 8.5 or higher, between the ages of 24 and 26, great bod, isn’t too jappy and has NOT talked with Eliot Spitzer – refresh that pivot table and bingo bango looks like CindyNYC86 is the one!