(DenverPost)Blanchard, Michael “Flathead”
1944 ~ 2012

A Celebration of the life of Michael “Flathead” Blanchard will be held on April 14th, 3 pm 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.

Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.

Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.

I don’t know who ol’ Flathead here is, but I do know that the world lost a great one when he kicked the bucket. They say you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: lost luggage, a rainy day, and tangled Christmas lights. Well add death to that list. Some people want everyone to be all sad that they’re dead and shit. Fuck that. Don’t cry and bitch about why the good lord had to take me. He took me because I was stubborn as fuck and raised hell! He took me because I liked guns and booze and young sluts! This is exactly what I want when I die. Someone to delete my Facebook account so fucking weirdos don’t comment on my Wall about how they miss me, then to just get wild at my funeral. No kids because my homemade pornos are gonna be playing on a loop during the entire thing!

And oh yea, Baba Yaga can kiss my fucking ass too. Any enemy of Flathead is an enemy of mine.