I sit here every day pouring my heart and soul into fire blogs thinking that I’m doing the best job ever and helping Barstool reach a day where we go public and are worth $100 billion. Just like this cleaning lady is just dialed in to creating the cleanest rug you’ve ever fuckin seen. Problem is, her hose ain’t plugged in. Neither is mine. KFC’s hose isn’t plugged in.

What does that mean exactly? I’m not sure. But I think it means nobody is ever gonna pay 100 billion for jokes about donuts and TV and tits. My hose ain’t plugged in.