This LSD Hippie From The 70s Wrote A Book About How He Used To Fuck Dolphins
PUNTA GORDA, Fla.– A 58-year-old writer is revealing that he had an intimate relationship with a dolphin in the 1970s. In 1971, Malcolm Brenner says he began a nine-month emotional and sexual relationship with a dolphin named Ruby. His passionate, real-life romance with the marine mammal is the basis for his new novel, Wet Goddess: Recollections Of A Dolphin Lover. Brenner met the sea seductress while taking photos of Ruby for a Florida amusement park and things escalated from there. He says the dolphin would nuzzle, flirt, and dance for him in the water, making it known that she wanted something more than friendship. The constant “come-ons” led Brenner to look at Ruby as a person. At the dolphin’s suggestion they got physical and engaged in sex, an experience he calls “phenomenal.” Brenner suspects many people have had similar affairs with dolphins because the animals are so human-like. By the way, beastiality isn’t illegal in Florida. Brenner says a relationship with a dolphin is hard because they’re clingy and “require attention 24/7.” Since his tryst with Ruby, he’s never loved another.
“Relationships with dolphins are hard because they’re clingy and require attention 24/7.” Thanks for the heads up my man! My first thought was that having a dolphin as your jump off is pretty hard because they are sea dwelling porpoises, but now I know it runs deeper than that. Like my main concern was shit like how do you get her to come back to your place at night? I live in a 3 story walk up. The average dolphin weighs 500 pounds. Hows that gonna work out for you? Especially after you’ve had a few beers. But now that I know that dolphins are Stage 5 Clingers I’m gonna avoid them all together. Just stick to orca and sea lions.
But I just wanna know why this relationship fizzled. You know? Sounds like that little marine mammal minx Ruby was down to fuck and was giving him all the signals. Malcolm and Flipper get hot and heavy for 9 months and then what? It was just over? Who broke up with who? Because I’ll tell you right now if I’m fucking a dolphin for 9 months and all the sudden she drops me like a bad habit I’m gonna need some serious goddam therapy to get over that one.
PS – I’m 430% sure this book is just the hallucinogenic ramblings of a brain dead acid addict
Dolphins are human-like?
I am always confusing the two species
I actually laughed pretty hard throughout this entire thing…good job KFC
Unimaginative book title, kind of gives it all away, no?
“Two star crossed lovers….”
Dolphin pussy must be primo if the guy hasn’t tried to get any since 1971.
Hey Steak – beastiality isn’t illegal in Florida!
This is your brain on drugs…this is your cock in a dolphin…
Girls that have sex with kmarko are into beastiality
taking pictures at amusement parks always results in hot sex.
nice one royal.
Diamondbacks +190 tonight…thank me tomorrow.
blackdude is a silverback
not betting against Jimenez
Pickett, E Jax has a career 13+ ERA against the Rocks. Put that up against Jimenez (at home no less) and I’m taking the RL quicker than Larry T takes mushroom tips to the tonsils.
610, AIN’T no mushroom tips touch these tonsils motherfucker. You’re the little faggot honky that wears short shorts and rollerskates with a boombox playing techno.
If we were in prison, you’d be lying on the floor of the shower with black blood going down the drain and a shank in your liver…
Larry T if we were in prison you’d have actually eaten this week.
610, you hit below the belt but you do make a valid point. Although I did eat a cook book in the back of the library this afternoon. So technically I did eat.
I’m a knock off the 7/11 down the street and steal a whole shitload of ringdings and ho hos tonight!
LTW-don’t forget the pork rinds.
Ms. Kitty, when I’m doing porking you, that pretty little cornhole ain’t going to be nothiing but rinds…
I’m a fuck you till you love me, you white bitch!