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NY Post - Unfortunately for Tiger, his shots don’t miss. The golf star knocked up his porn-star gal pal twice — both times when his wife, too, was pregnant, according to a bombshell interview. Joslyn James — star of such adult classics as “Big Breasted Nurses” and “My Sex Teacher #12″ — said her lengthy and steamy affair with Tiger Woods always involved unprotected sex. Using protection “was never talked about,” the 34DD actress told “Inside Edition” in an interview that airs tonight. “It was never protected.” James, 32, who carried on a torrid affair with Woods from 2006 to 2009, said she miscarried in her first pregnancy at about the same time Tiger’s wife, Elin Nordegren, gave birth to daughter Sam Alexis on June 18, 2007. James said she aborted her next pregnancy close to the Feb. 8, 2009, birth of Woods’ son, Charlie Axel. Woods was never told about either pregnancy, the skin-flick stunner said. “I just didn’t want to ruin anything,” James said. The buxom adult film star said she was close to breaking the news to Tiger, 34, but chickened out just before suffering the miscarriage. “Actually, the day I was going to tell him, I had a miscarriage,” she said. “After I lost the baby I didn’t want to talk about it.” The miscarriage actually fueled her desire to be with Woods, the porn star claimed, explaining, “I got more emotionally attached.”

Who on EARTH would abort Tiger Woods’ kid???  Fuck I think even I’d have the baby if Tiger knocked me up.  That’s the most golden of all golden tickets.  Forget gold, it’s platinum. As long as that little bastard is alive you’ve got access to billions for LIFE.  It’s like when Chappelle knocked up Oprah.

And boy what an illegitimate mistake that kid would have been.  The love child of a classical thespian from “Big Breasted Nurses” and one of the greatest athletes of all time. Gotta be the most talented kid of all time, no?  One thing’s for sure, that kid would know how to handle a club and put it in the hole.  ZING!

PS – Corny sexual innuendo jokes like that from me are just par for the course.  But you gotta love David K. Li from the New York Post opening up this article with a cumshot joke.  I mean the Post is really just in a downward spiral towards the underworld of smut.  I’m pretty sure I could just show up to the NYP tomorrow morning as the editor in chief and they wouldn’t miss a beat.