So yesterday Pizza Boy asks me and the rest of Stoolie Nation if they would fuck Skyler White. That big fat bloated bitch on Breaking Bad. Much to my surprise the vote was an overwhelming “yes.” Everyone claiming they’d “hate fuck her.” Fuck that. This bitch sucks. I’d like to hate kill her, not hate fuck her. Anyway, I made a comment on Strasser’s blog saying shes one of my least favorite characters of all time, and people have asked for a list. What the people want, the people get:
6. King Joffrey – Game of Thrones
I don’t give a fuck if youre the product of incest dude, you are such a fucking dick. That time your imp uncle sent you 2 whores for your birthday and you made them torture each other? Fuck was that about? Also showing your girlfriend her dead father’s head on a stick just ain’t right. One of these days you’re gonna get murdered and all 7 kingdoms are gonna throw a fuckin party.
5. Declan from Revenge
What a fuckin twirp this dude is. With his stupid hair and his stupid voice and all his dramatics. Waaaah my girlfriend is addicted to oxy! Waaaaah my dad was poor and he’s dead now! Just shut the fuck up bro. You’re too poor for Charlotte and you’re gonna be a barback for the rest of your life. Deal with it.
4. Deb from Dexter
Hey Deb are you the worst fucking detective in the world? You brother is practically murdering people on a nightly basis in front of your goddam face. Second question for you Deb – are you a fucking dude? You got a dick up in those pants? Pretty sick of looking at you with your shirt tucked into your jeans and your hair looking like a fucking wreck. Pretty sure Masuka is the only one who wants to fuck you. And quit saying fuck all the time you incestual bitch.
3. Chloe O’brian from 24
“Jack! Its Chloe! Can you hear me? I’m back at CTU doing a pouty duck face since thats all I ever fucking do!” Fuck you Chloe! What an annoying skank this chick was. For like 10 seasons in a row. Every year waiting for Chloe to die. Instead dudes like fat Edgar with the lisp kept dying. Chloe survived it all. Only solace I take is that Chloe always wanted Jack Bauer’s dick up in her mouth and she never got it.
2. Skyler White from Breaking Bad
I guess you just wanna try to raise a retard and a baby girl all alone and broke, huh? Is that what you want Skyler? Is that what’s hot in the streets these days? Single motherhood with no money? No. Thats not whats hot in the streets. Your husband’s crystal is what’s hot in the streets. While he slangs day and night putting his life on the line so that he can provide for his family when he dies from his cancer, you’re on the phone complaining that your sister has a fucking shoplifting habit crying that she won’t apologize to you. Fuck you, you ungrateful bitch! You’re married to Heisenburg! Show some fucking respect.
1. Becca from Californication
Hands down the worst character in TV history. Could be the worst actress ever too. Like in the case of Skyler White, Anna Gunn is actually doing a tremendous job of portraying her character and thats why you hate her. Becca on the other hand – what a fucking waste of space. I get it – your dad fucks everything that walks including your step sister who was like 16. But he always comes back and buys you guitars and shit so really whats the big deal? Get over it you fat gothic crybaby. The only time you smile is when your dad is fucking your mom again, which is strange as shit. Just cut the dramatics, cut your bangs, and for Christ sake get out in the sun you vampire. You live in fucking California.