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By now we’ve all heard the latest wrinkle in the Incognito/Martin saga. That wrinkle being he said he was gonna run a train on his sister with no condom and cum in her cunt. That my friends, is a doozy of a comment. So last night I got to thinking about how awful it would be if Richie Incognito literally creampied your sister. That would be a harrowing experience. Thinking about Incognito’s fat face sweating on your sister is about as bad as it gets. This guy on twitter summed it up absolutely perfectly. One of the funniest things I’ve seen on twitter. I honestly might choose this creature:

Ephialtes

 

Over Richie Incognito banging my sister. So then I naturally took it a step further, thinking about Incognito and the Dolphins O Line running a train with no condom and my wheels began to spin. Who are the worst groups of people you’d want running a train on your sister? Without further ado lets get into it…

5. Hootie and the Blowfish

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Call me weird but one of the first groups that popped into my mind that would absolutely torcher me is Hootie and the Blowfish. You know why? Because I love them. Its completely backwards. If Hootie and the Blowfish ran train on your sister, every time you ever heard one of their hits you’re gonna be reminded of the time your sister got gangbanged. The instant you hear “You and meeeee, we come from different worldsssss…” you’re instantly thinking about a 4 man, condomless train on your kid sister. Every cover band you ever see, every classic rock station you ever turn on, Hootie will be there reminding you of the time your sister was turned into the Metro North tracks.

4. Black Panthers

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This one is pretty self explanatory. A Million Man March on your sister would not be very ideal. Militant sex too. Not like they’d take it easy on her.

3. Showtime Lakers 

Kurt_Rambis_Michael_Cooper_James_Worthy_Magic_Johnson_Mychal_Thompson

 

You know what would be the worst part of the Showtime Lakers running train on your sister? Not Magic Johnson who was laying the foundation for his AIDS. Not 7 foot 2 Kareem Abdul Jabaar. Its not even Kurt Rambis with that mullet and that stache and those rec specs and a bloody nose fucking her. The worst part about the Showtime Lakers running a train on your sister is that virgin AC Green sitting in the corner masturbating to the whole thing.

2. 86 Mets

 

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The level of disrespect your sister would see in a 1986 Mets Train is off the charts. Its almost unfathomable. These are guys who taped steaks to the bottom of their shoes to stomp around an airplane just to ruin it. Whats the equivalent of Steak Shoes during a gangbang? I dont even wanna know and neither does your sister. Think about this 1-2-3 lineup: Lenny Dykstra, Wally Backman, and Kevin Mitchell. Jiminy fuckin Cricket. 3 of the last guys on earth you’d want inside your sister, let alone all in a row.

#1 Corporate Ministry

Corp Ministry

 

When the Corporation joined the Ministry of Darkness, it was one of the most unholy alliances in the history of the WWF. The worst thing to ever hit the Squared Circle. It would absolutely be the worst thing to ever hit your sister’s vagina. Take a look at the lineup:

The Undertaker
Vince McMahon
Shane McMahon
Paul Bearer
Faarooq
Bradshaw
Mideon
Viscera
Big Bossman
Chyna
Triple H
Joey Abs
Pete Gas
Rodney

That is absolutely DIABOLICAL. Imagine starting a train with fucking Paul Bearer and VISCERA is the caboose? All with the Undertaker, Faarooq, Big Bossman, HHH, and that disgusting troll Mideon, somewhere in between? I think the worst part would be the Mean Street Posse portion of the train. Just a cocky, rapey 4 man train with Shane McMahon laughing the whole time. Hands DOWN train you ever want your sister riding on.

HONORARY NUMBER 1: The Barstool Sports Gang 

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I wouldnt wish this crew on my worst enemy’s sister.