The only thing I love more than nipples is donuts

Huff PoWhile the rest of us hit up the barbecue and got out of town this past Memorial Day, the lovely ladies of the Co-Ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society convened in Central Park to read and bare their breasts in the scorching sun, reminding us that here in New York City, female toplessness is definitely legal. Few people know it, but thanks to 1992 court decision to reverse laws prohibiting ladies to go topless, women can bare proudly just about anywhere. The society has long championed increased public awareness of the law, often venturing throughout city parks and public spaces and boldly going where few women dare to go. The group explains their “making reading sexy” mission: We’re a group of friends, and friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends, and complete strangers, who love good books and sunny days and enjoying both as nearly in the altogether as the law allows. Happily, in New York City, the law allows toplessness by both men and women. So that’s the way we do our al fresco reading. If you’re in New York and the weather’s good, won’t you join us sometime…?

Every year these chicks do this. And every year I’m like, nope, not gonna blog it. Not gonna give them the satisfaction of publicizing this trickery. “Hey hey look at my tits look at my tits! NOW READ A BOOK!” Fuck that. Classic bait and switch right there. But then you know what happens? I see one set of monster boobs with some chick reading Harry Potter or something and I come to my senses. If chicks anywhere are doing anything where they openly show their tits, then they deserve the publicity. I feel like Billy Madison in 2nd grade. Take one look at those tits and I’m like “Reading…is…good!”

So here are the Central Park Hipster Titties. Now go buy books and shit.