NBC – A British Toys R Us manager paid a prostitute $31,000 a week in stolen funds, and now the international chain wants the money back, it emerged in court. Disgraced manager Paul Hopes spent a total of $6 million on services from call girl Dawn Dunbar, prompting a stunned judge to ask how she arived at her fee. “It is [$31,000] a week,” marveled Judge Stephen John. “How do you manage to evaluate your services — sex — at [$31,000] a week? “How do you justify that?” Dunbar, according to the Telegraph, replied: “It wasn’t me that was putting the worth on that. It was Mr. Hopes paying what he thought it was worth.” Hopes, 59, is a former purchasing manager for the company father of two. His wife has divorced him since the scandal, and he is serving seven years in prison for theft and money laundering. The hearing involved the order that he pay back millions of dollars spent on houses and cars for prostitutes. The issue is whether Dunbar and other prostitutes earned their money or it was given to them, and whether they should have to forfeit it to the toy chain. A hearing with another prostitute, Tanya Wieck, was expected in coming weeks.

Listen I’m down with some kinky shit. I’m pretty sure if I were to lay out my requests for a hooker there would be a prettayy pretttayy hefty premium for some of that activity. And I’m a great tipper and I’m all about paying people what they deserve. Like you can always get away with tipping 20% but if a waitress or bartender goes above and beyond I’ll pay them what I feel they deserve.

But all that being said, there is absolutely nothing that a chick could do that would be worth $31,000 a week. Unless she was fucking my brains out and giving me $30,500 every Saturday. Then maybe she’d be worth it. But if a hooker just goes by the honor code and gives you the old “Why don’t you just give me what you think you should give me?” I can promise you I won’t be giving her $6 million a year. Who would just sit there and wrack their brain like “Ok…she blew me Monday…Tuesday there was anal….she brought her friend into the mix Wednesday…we joined the whole Furries movement Thursday…and then she shaved my ass in a hot tub full of Pepto Bismol Friday…carry the 1…8.75% sales tax…lets just round up and call it an even 31 K.” Fuck that noise! I’d rather beat my dick 15 times a week for 52 weeks and have 6 million sitting in my bank account. For $31,000 every 7 days that hooker better show up to Toys R Us with a female giraffe ready to fuck Geoffrey.

PS – I love the judge’s first line of questioning. Like forget about the store manager embezzling millions of dollars and laundering money, bring that hooker in here I wanna know why her pussy is worth 31 grand a year. Cocky slut.

UPDATE: This is the hooker

Oh my god. This is fucking ridiculous.

This chick is easily worth 41K a week.