What the fuck is it about trannies that makes them so goddamn tough? Like by all accounts, they should be as tough as gay dudes. And I don’t pretend to be a particularly tough guy, but I guarantee I wouldn’t lose a fight to a gay dude. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, I love Wham!, I’ve just seen enough guys wearing pink with limp wrists and calling each other “fierce bitches” to allow myself to lose a fight to a gay guy. My pride wouldn’t let me. Even if they ever had me on the ropes, adrenaline would kick in and I’d battle back. Like when you hear about moms lifting cars to save their child. I’d get super-strength to save my dignity. Because I’m pretty sure gays are like zombies, if you lose a battle to one you become one.

But transvestites? They seem to have all the weapons. Strength of a man but with the fighting rules of a woman. They have a swinging dick but it’s also not cheap for them to pull hair and claw. Total game changer. Got all kinds of weapons you have to watch out for. It’s like facing Roy Halladay. Just when you get the fastball and curved timed, he comes at you with a cutter. Impossible to defend.

PS – I love how the white lady started saying “dog” every other word to try and fit in. Total veteran move. Whenever I’m around black people I pull the same shit. Change my vocabulary, start walking with a little more swagger, discuss new rap songs, and dust off a few old Chapelle Show skits to discuss. Works every time.