WSJ – An apparent abduction in Manhattan that set off a large police response and unnerved residents of Washington Heights over the weekend was actually a prank played by a group of college friends to celebrate one of their birthdays, a law enforcement official said. No charges were expected to be filed against any of the seven people who participated in the bogus abduction, and they all appeared to be unaware of the commotion that their practical joke caused, the officials said. At about 7:30 pm Sunday, detectives investigating the unusual incident received a call from a 30-year-old man saying the abduction was fake and was part of an elaborate plan to throw a surprise birthday party.  He and his friends had rented a home in the Poconos in Pennsylvania for the weekend and were only alerted to the panic their prank caused when they returned to Manhattan on Sunday.The incident, parts of which were captured on surveillance video, touched off an intense police search and rattled people living in Washington Heights – including children who witnessed the caper on Friday evening. Police said several witnesses had reported that at about 7 p.m.  Friday, they heard a woman scream and saw two men force two people into a minivan at gunpoint at Haven Avenue and West 173rd Street. Mann told police the abduction was planned as a diversion after the man, identified as Christian Joe, found out about the surprise party, the official said. The other apparent victim, Joe’s girlfriend, was in on the joke. Joe, who had a pillow case placed on his head during the prank, told detectives he immediately recognized his “abductors” voices as being his friends’ and that there was no weapon involved.

Ohhh pranksters! You wacky wacky clowns! The only thing worse than people who throw surprise birthdays are April Fools jokes and when those two collide you’re looking a perfect storm of dickhead. You know when you hear those stories about pranks gone wrong where someone is hiding in the closet and pops of to scare their fiance and they get blown away by a shotgun because the person thought they were an intruder? I fucking love those stories. One less prankster goofball left in this world. I wish these idiots crashed and burned in their minivan too. “Oh no! Christian Joe found out about his party! Lets stage a fucking kidnapping in Washington Heights so he’ll still be surprised!” Fuck you pranksters! I wish the police tracked them down and ran them off the road.

On a different note, is pranking a dude named Christian Joe on your way out to a birthday party in the Poconos the whitest thing of all time? If theres 2 things in this world black people don’t like its pranks and the Poconos.