Huff PoIt’s the little things that matter. At least that’s the case in a Denmark-based competition that is offering an iPhone to the man with the smallest penis. The contest is sponsored by erotica website Singlesex.dk, and site owner Morten Fabricius admits the idea is “weird and funny and almost too much.” “It’s a competition which is at the core of manhood, the most important thing for a man,” he said, according to RawStory.com. “There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s not normal to have a huge one.” Contestants are asked to send a photo to the website of their erect sex organ with measuring tape next to it. The man with the smallest penis will win an iPhone, as will another fellow who will be chosen by the site’s female, er, members. Guys who come in second and third place will get an iPad. The small penis contest has only been going on a short time, but the site has already received a half dozen photos that Fabricius said are being “vetted” to ensure they haven’t been stolen.

Someone get me a measuring tape because papa needs a new iPhone! All these nerds waiting on line for days on end to drop like 500 bucks on a new iPhone 5. Camping out outside the Apple Store like a bunch of assholes. Meanwhile some lucky dude in Denmark just needs to snap a picture of his needle dick and bingo bango he gets one. I mean its basically like “Hey, I’ve already got a fun size tootsie roll for a dick, I might as well have an iPhone to go along with it.” There’s probably all sorts of apps that can help you cope with having a clit for a dick. Like “Siri, how do you fuck a pussy with a tic tac?” “Kevin, I have found 3 small dick fetishists in your area.” Bam. Done. Thanks Denmark. If having a small dick is cool in Denmark, consider me Miles Davis.