First Would You Rather KFC has me doing and I’m immediately thrown into the lion’s den. Fuck this is hard. As a die-hard Yankee fan, am I choosing to play for the Red Sox and win numerous titles, or am I playing in the Bronx for a perennially shitty Yankee team? Think mid-80’s Yankees when there were like 4 fans in the upper deck telling each other “you get this foul ball. I got the last 3.”

Obviously when you’re really in the situation, you play for whoever drafts you or pays you the money. But if you had the choice, money and what not aside, what do you choose? Play in your hometown for the team you love, or go down in history as a Boston legend? As much as it kills me to say this, I think I’m selling my soul on this one and playing my career out in Boston.  Personal stats aside, if it’s strictly coming down to championship rings, I just can’t pass up the opportunity to hoist that World Series trophy several times throughout my career. Do you know what kind of perks come with winning a World Series? I think the law is something like one girl per ring that you can walk into a bar and just point at and demand sex from. If I’m rocking a fist full of rings, I’m looking at a pretty solid, Magic Johnson Wilt Chamberlain lifestyle. And who knows… maybe I’ll just get numb to the fact that I’m doing it with the Red Sox and eventually forget what team I’m even playing for. Bobby Abreu does it. Why can’t I?

At the same time, I’m most likely waking up every morning and feeling sick to my stomach that all my success has come from playing for the enemy. Looking myself in the mirror and just sobbing. Judging myself, calling myself names, some real messed up, self-deprecating shit. I’d probably develop a complex by my free agency years knowing that under this stupid pact I made with the devil, I’m stuck in Boston. Then I would inevitably drink myself into a beer bellied, early retirement. But then I would just throw on one of my rings and head to the local bar for a night of debauchery and weird fetish shit. I can only assume my interest in fetishes will develop in my later years.

What about you, stoolies? Yankee fans, are you constantly winning the ship with the Red Sox and vice versa for Boston fans. Vote 1 for I want that ring and vote 10 for I can’t turn my back on my boys.

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