Well, it took until June 12th to wake up to a first place Yankee team (I don’t count the fleeting moments of supremacy in the early weeks of the season), but we’re there. After a long drive cross-country in an ’84 sheepdog and a couple of big gulps, the Yankees have finally arrived in a place where the beer flows like wine and beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called… first. It’s still relatively early in the season, but there’s just something about seeing the Yankees on top and Boston in the cellar that gets my dick hard. Baltimore is coming back down to earth and Toronto realized they were running late on their annual free-fall. Sure, Tampa is stuck on New York’s ass like two guys on a hog, bound together via frozen stream of piss, but if the Yankees keep pitching the way they have been, it should be a good battle down the stretch. All things considered, through all the injuries, pitching woes, and lack of clutch hitting, this team is in a decent spot (Cue the $200 million dollar payroll bullshit from commenters).
P.S.- What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding season? Yes, umm, the answer would be, umm, Neither! Scoreboard watching season, motherfucker. Get that ScoreCenter app downloaded and prepare yourself for an aggravating amount of energy devoted to waiting for it to update, because it’s time to keep an eye on the Rays and stay mindful of the Orioles. And don’t sleep on Boston. They’re bound to make a mid-summer run.