What Should I Do With My KFC Fundraiser Earnings?
So for those of you who don’t know, after all the hoopla with how much the Bus Monitor bitch made with her fundraiser page, the Stoolies set up a $250,000 fundraiser for me help ease the pain of all the hateful commenters on Barstool New York. A retirement fund of sorts. It got shut down after a day because the web service thought it was a hoax but the creator of the campaign got it running live again once he emailed them to assure them my life is pathetic enough that I am a charity case.
Well I got an email today from the creator of this campaign asking what to do with the money.
from: Brendan
to: Kevin Clancy <kfc@barstoolsports.com>
date: Fri, Jun 22, 2012 at 1:33 PM
What should I do with the money when this thing ends? Mail you a check? Donate it to some cripples?
Now, because I’m not a fucking asshole like Bus Monitor Bitch, and I appreciate the fact that anybody out there would just give me money, I pose the question to Stoolie Nation. What should I do with my fundraiser money? Right now we’re at a cool $69 bucks, just a tad short of our $250,000 goal. But the fundraiser is still live so who knows where it might end up. Might get all the way to 70 or 71 bucks. But like I said, I appreciate the value of a dollar and want to make sure I put this chedder to good use.
So have at it – comment, email me at kfc@barstoolsports.com, tweet me @KFCBarstool with all your best ideas. Should I donate it to blindos to make up for my bad karma? Should I blow it all on donuts and film myself trying to eat 70 bucks worth of Entennmans? Go right to the strip club and get like 1 beer and 2 dances and be done with it in a matter of 3 minutes? Leave some suggestions as to what I should do with my donations.
i think a 69 dollar donation to “blindos” would be the funniest thing
I would just donate it to the bus monitor lady to make up for all the mean things you have said about her.
donate it to the human fund
Or buy your ultimate last meal and finish it all.
buy gasoline, some matches and set that asshole strasser on fire.
@olsonmr hahahaha well-played sir.
The real answer is rent out a strip club for a night if you get enough money. Anything less than $1000, eat donuts until you vomit then donate the rest of it to the Wounded Warrior Project
Use the money to buy some gout medication.
a lit bit of coc for the night
buy a rope and hang yourself
If you make it to 99 I feel like this is the way to go:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005PL9ZL4/?tag=047-20
If you make it to 45k, this:
http://www.mwelab.com/index.php/en/products/emperor-200
^I think you’d be the best blogger in the world just by having this.
give it to this asshole
@actionmeets2014
Duh, buy drugs.
use the money to get a “Fuck Blindos” tramp stamp in Olde English font
If you make it to 45k, this: http://www.mwelab.com/index.php/en/products/emperor-200
buy a fleshlight and stick it up your ass
Make a mold of your dick so you can literally go and fuck yourself KFC.
$55 – http://www.createamate.com/
Try to buy out your boy Jason Bay
Buy 34 1/2 two-dollar whores! Then beat the shit out of ‘em.
Give it to Thetallone so he can take a creative writing course.
COCAINE AND HOOKERS (couple viagra too)
Maybe a couple of acres of lunar real estate, this seems completely legit http://www.lunarregistry.com/
I sent an email signed by Andy. You better read it, KFC. It could be the start of something big.
A Glass eye and a new dreeser ?
Buy Feet’s a hooker. Kid needs to get laid.
You can definitely buy like 20 bags of Donettes with that shit. Just waht you need.
Brendan is your brother, you guys both look like scum bags, split down the middle and get drinks at that shit hole bar you always talk about, rat bones or whatever, fuck you and your brother
dongtastic may be on to something
hey will i am, how much did you donate?
Send black male strippers over to the Milton HQ
Evil One beat me to it. Glass eye FTW
donate it to the charity of tim tebows choice.
you could always donate it to the MSC fund.
Buy a 50 dollar sack of weed and soend the rest in hit dogs
Or host a stoolie donut eating contest. I would dominate
I hear there are many wealthy kings from Africa that would send you thousands of millions of dollars for only the shipping charge of $69.
uhh santa suit and a sling shot duh
take it and flush it down the toilet. just to be an asshole
Flushing it down the toliet would literally give Portnoy a heart attack
Buy a rat and have it gnaw that mole off your face.