NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — It is a sign of the times — getting a quick DNA test is now as easy as walking up to a truck. The “Who’s Your Daddy” recreational vehicle is selling DNA tests, mostly to fathers who suspect their children may not actually be theirs. “They flag us down, they pull us over, they talk to us,” owner and operator Jared Rosenthal said Wednesday. “Sometimes, because of thenature of the services, they want to be a little more discreet about it, but they do come or they’ll call the number.” In this business, Rosenthal said he deals with all kinds of crazy situations all day, every day. “We have people that want to get the specimen from their spouse without them knowing about it,” Rosenthal said. “We deal with a lot of drama, it’s constant drama.” There have been instances where men have walked in with a baby to give DNA samples only to find out later they’re not related. When asked by CBS 2’s Dave Carlin why he was taking the DNA test from the traveling truck, one unidentified man explained, “I’m paying child support anyways and I would do it anyways. You just want to know.” “There’s a lot of difficult situations and tough moments and heartbreak,” Rosenthal said, adding that there are happy endings as well. “There’s a lot of good news that we’re able to deliver and there’s a lot of happy moments.” “The mother is like ‘You’re the father.’ He says ‘No the heck I’m not.’ You don’t know. Right there, that’s how you find out,” Veras said.
Fuckin Maury Povich on wheels! I wonder what gets more attention when they roll through the hood:
The Ice Cream Man
The Roving DNA Testing Bus
On the one hand, I feel like the fellas in the hood love a Good Humor bar and a dime bag. On the other hand, finding out that you no longer have to pay child support for a kid that doesn’t belong to you is a pretty big fucking deal. Tough decision, right?
Well thats why I’m creating a DNA Ice Cream Truck. Bingo bango. I’m gonna sell weed and ice cream and paternity tests. Food stamps not accepted, sorry. My first and only route will just be doing circles around the cul-de-sac in front of Antonio Cromarties house. Enough questionable kids at any given moment looking for ice cream and one desperate father in need of several dozen paternity tests on a daily basis. Fucking goldmine for a DNA Ice Cream Truck.
PS – Seriously though, the thought of dudes in the hood hailing down a paternity testing bus with 500 bucks and a couple q-tips of DNA in their hands is one of the funniest things I can imagine. Sounds like a Chappelle’s Show skit.