What happens first – the Jets score a touchdown – or – Neil makes the Stoolies laugh? Its gonna be at least 2 more weeks because none of the starters are playing on Thursday, so Neil’s got some time. Still might be a toss up though. I mean the last time the Jets scored a touchdown, Scott still worked for Barstool. There was no Pizza Boy. Barstool Chicago didn’t exist yet. Seasons have come and gone. Its gonna be at least an entire offseason plus a month before we see Sanchez and the starters reach the end zone.

But don’t worry, guys! Its because the Jets haven’t unveiled their super secret plans! They haven’t practiced or used their wildcat formations! Nobody in the NFL will know how to defend their revolutionary 2 quarterback system. Once they do that they’ll be fine. Week 1 first possession they’ll run the Annexation of Puerto Rico and take it to the house.

The reality of the matter is, the preseason doesn’t mean much, whether you’re playing well or playing like the Jets. If they had punched a couple in the end zone the past few weeks, it wouldn’t have really changed much. If it wasn’t for a couple dropped passes, there wouldn’t be the same frenzy about the offense. But, the same questions would still exist – who’s playing quarterback? Who’s gonna protect that quarterback? Who the fuck is that quarterback gonna throw to? Who’s he handing it off too? Whether or not the Jets scored a meaningless touchdown the past couple weeks wouldn’t decide whether this team can play. But by completely failing 100% the entire offseason, there’s now a “haven’t scored a touchdown” hysteria surrounding them as the enter week 1 against Buffalo. Its basically a Week 1 Super Bowl for the Jets. They lose that game and they are staring down the barrel of a potentially catastrophic start. Bills, Steelers, Dolphins, 9ers, Texans. Best case 2-3, realistically 1-4. I don’t even wanna discuss the possibility of anything worse than that.