You know when you’re with a new girl and the sex is so good that you completely neglect every negative aspect of her personality? The honeymoon stage makes you completely disregard the fact that your sarcasm goes right over her head and that she says “wahhhhh” all the fucking time. These are the things you normally despise when you’re thinking with a clear head, but you’re caught up in her hip gyrations and the excitement of a new smash so you let it slide. That’s pretty much what happened with the Yankees during that nice little 10-game romp in the sheets we got to enjoy. Blinded by dominant starting pitching, this season-long trend of terrible timely hitting was swept under the rug for a week and a half. But now the sex is getting a bit redundant, she’s doing that thing with her teeth too much, and the Yankees have come back down to earth. What we are left with is a team that is so anemic when it comes to hitting with runners in scoring position, that only the Marlins and the Padres are worse in those situations. Nothing good can ever come from a sentence that ends with “only the Marlins and Padres are worse.”

Teixeira had this to say about the futility with RISP: “Maybe we are putting too many balls in play. I talked to you guys earlier, about when you’re not aggressive, you end up putting balls in play that you should swing and miss, or maybe foul off.” Hitters need to treat a runners in scoring position situation like a 3-0 count with the green light. If your manager is allowing you to swing, you either wanna knock the ball to the fucking moon or swing through it. A half-hearted swing that results in a dribbler to second base is the result of approaching the at-bat with zero conviction. And that’s exactly what Tex is referring to. Yankees are too timid in these runners-on situations. Hitters are walking up to the plate with sober fat chick confidence when they should have drunk fat chick confidence. Whether it’s acquiring a big-time hitter at the trade deadline, switching the lineup around, or even firing Kevin Long (a bit extreme, I know), something’s gotta give. The pitching can’t always be as dominant as it was during the 10 game winning streak and you’re not going to routinely be part of a 40 home run day like yesterday’s game. Timely hitting is a necessity for October success, and the lack of it will have Swisher and A Rod on the golf course by the second week of October, if they even manage to get that far.