TaiwanA 52-year-old Taiwanese woman has been granted a divorce to end her four year marriage with a civil servant, whom she claimed to have a tiny Willy. The woman, also a civil servant surnamed Zhang, said the 55-year-old—known only as Zhou—has also failed to keep his promise to have sex with her three times a week. “His penis is so small, like a kid’s, only 5cm long. We’ve never had sex in our entire marriage,” she added. Zhang said they met in July 2008 through a common friend and got married five months later. She had wanted to have sex with Zhou before signing the marriage papers but he refused, citing religious reasons. Zhang said she only found out about her husband’s problems on their wedding night. “He’s also impotent and unable to fulfill his responsibility as a husband.” The couple separated the day after their marriage, but they spent 10-odd nights together to see if the husband’s condition had improved. Unfortunately, it hadn’t. He declined the claims that he was impotent, blaming the timing as to why he couldn’t perform. “I prefer to have sex in the morning but she wanted it around midnight, by then I would be very tired,” he said. “Sex is not the only foundation for marriage after all,” he added, while denying that he promised to have sex with Zhang three times a week, as his urge for sex was very low.

Jesus Christ. Dudes can’t win. Any culture, any age – it doesn’t matter. If you wanna fuck all the time, your girl’s got a headache or thinks you’re a pervert. If you don’t nail her enough, you’re cheating or gay. Got a big hose? Not so deep, it hurts. Anal’s out of the question and she sure as shit ain’t trying to put all that in her mouth. Packing sub-par heat? Well, then she’s gotta tell the world about it.

A little math tells me this guy’s dong is about 2 inches. Hard or soft wasn’t specified, but we’re talking about an Asian penis, right? A couple inches puts him right on par with your average Jackie Chan. I can’t blame Zhang for wanting a monster pipe, but I’m sure if we asked Zhou, he’d wish she didn’t have tiny tits with nips longer than his cock. Life ain’t perfect. For all we know, he was cursed on a trip to Africa.

The biggest asshole in this situation though is the common friend who set them up in the first place. What kind of sadistic motherfucker pairs up a 52 year-old anaconda-craving slut who wants to bang at all hours of the night with a 55 year-old dude well past his sexual prime & packing a baby egg roll? That’s fucked up. Now poor Zhang’s got his exaggerated ‘tiny, broken dick’ dirty laundry out for any prospective wife to unfairly judge him by. Thanks, “pal”, for condemning your “friend” to a twilight of playing his wang like the world’s tiniest viorin.