Huff – Missouri calls itself the “Show Me” state, but there’s only so much one woman was allowed to show at a water park. When Madelyn Sheaffer went to the Adventure Oasis Water Park in Independence, Mo., on Tuesday, the last thing she expected was that her bathing suit would cause fireworks. Sheaffer, 43, said after she got into the pool with her niece and nephew, two teenage employees approached her and told her to put on shorts because her bottoms were too small. A supervisor backed up their decree by saying she needed to cover up or leave the park. “I just felt like I was singled out,” Sheaffer told KSHB-TV. “I felt like it was both age and body discrimination and I felt like I could look around me and I could see a handful of other girls half my age, wearing the same size swimming suit and not being singled out and told to put on clothes or leave.” Officials at the Adventure Oasis Water Park had no comment about the incident preferring to have the Independence, Mo., City Manager handle press inquiries since the park is on city land.


Normally I’d side with anyone trying to conceal gross asses from public view, but if we’re talking about a water park then I can’t in good conscience take that side. Water parks are the DMZ for disgusting white trash. Those places just attract that raunchiest kind of hillbilly mouth-breathers. The type of people who have cars on blocks in their front yard and eat peanut butter and fluff. Yes I was just describing a family I know and guess what? They LOVE water parks. Something about the slides and piss filled wave pools just draw the fat yokels of the world.

So I just don’t see how you can single out one of those fatties. That’s like kicking a guy out of law school for being Jewish. There are a million more people just like them. You give one fat ass the boot, you gotta give ‘em all the boot. And that means losing like 85% of your business.

PS – And to answer your question, yes I’d slap those tits.