Unique DailyHe’s not out of diapers yet, but a Calgary toddler has become the youngest person in Canada to join the ranks of the international high-IQ society, Mensa. Meet Anthony Popa Urria. At two years and nine months, Anthony has a staggeringly high IQ score of 154, just a few points shy of the estimated IQs of Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking. While most of his peers are singing Itsy Bitsy Spider and drawing crayon scribbles, this bright toddler spends his time reciting the alphabet backward and forward, counting to 1,000, and listing the planets in the solar system, days in a week, months in a year and the seasons. He also speaks three languages, can read full sentences in books he has never seen before, can write his own name and many other words, and can solve complex 70-piece puzzles, among his vast skills… Across Canada, there are only seven other members of Mensa aged 10 or younger.”

Genius, huh? Looks like you’re not smart enough to realize you need a haircut, bro. Fuck this kid. Can count to 1,000? Wow. Impressive dude. That must take you, what, like, 1,000 seconds to do? “Can write your own name and many other words?” Shakespeare is shaking in his boots. He knows all the planets? Jeez watch out Hawking! This little fucker may disprove your theories on black holes. Gimme a fucking break, kid. You don’t even shit in the toilet yet. Alright the 3 languages thing is impressive. So is the jigsaw puzzle thing. You ever do one of those? They are legitimately the hardest things in the world to do. But otherwise this kid just sounds like the know-it-all snot nose in kindergarten.

Hey Anthony, I hope you read all the books one how to pick your underwear out of your asshole, because you’re looking at a lifetime of wedgies. Hope you master self masturbation by the age of 13 because I’ve got news for you – jigsaw puzzles and solar system knowledge don’t get the bitches wet. Because the only certified genius I know is Tom Zollo and all he does with his life is get wedgies and not fuck chicks.