The Sun A NEW range of cakes designed to look like the symptoms of GONORRHEA and other sexually transmitted diseases has gone on sale. The “clapcake” – which also comes in herpes and syphilis – is made from vanilla or chocolate sponge with “anatomically correct” icing. So now those with a sweet tooth can have their cake and treat it – as they tuck into the sugary equivalent of genital lesions, boils and warts. The aim of each gross garnish? To put out a cheeky message encouraging Brits to practise safe snacks – sorry, sex. The STD cupcakes are the work of PR expert Emma Thomas aka Miss Cakehead. She has decided not to label each cake with which STD it represents – so shoppers are in for a surprise. She said: “It’s like having unprotected sex with a stranger. You never know what you’ll get!”

“The STD cupcakes are the work of PR expert Emma Thomas.” Thats an interesting sentence, huh? I’m not sure if you can consider yourself an expert on relating to the public when you think its a good idea to smear warts and herpes all over cupcakes in an effort to get people to eat them. I don’t even fucking know whats going on with the orange one that has the green goo. This shit is fucking disgusting! I don’t care if these are the best cupcakes in the whole fucking world. I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to keep my mouth away from shit that looks like that. Real or not there’s no way I’m gonna stop that now.