I’ll do ya laundry too!

Huffington PostA sex worker in Zimbabwe electrocuted herself while drying her client’s garments on a clothesline — and now her family wants the client to pay up. Cops said that Mati Nhamo had spent the night at her client’s pad and decided to do his laundry in the morning, according to Newsday Zimbabwe. She was killed instantly on Monday when she touched a clothesline, possibly because it was touching a live wire. Nhamo’s relatives refused to bury her body, demanding payment for her “bride price” from the alleged client, named Last Mbele, B24 reported. Mbele insisted to reporters that Nhamo was his regular girlfriend, and asked that her relatives sue the electrical company responsible for her death. Police dispute his claim that she was not a prostitute. Now the two families are in a standoff, while Nhamo’s body remains at the hospital pending resolution of the conflict. The bride price or “roora” is the Zimbabwean custom in which valuables or money are given to the bride’s family to seal the marriage.

I’m a man of many principles. There’s a handful of rules I follow. A code if you will. Like Dexter. But one of my most important rules in this life is to keep the proverbial “bar” set as low as possible. Raising the bar has never helped a normal dude, ever. All it does is raise expectations with zero extra compensation. Like when I was a Cubical Monkey I used to get in early and leave late. Never take vacation. Take on extra work. And for what? Nothing. I never got a big promotion, never got a big raise. Eventually I just said fuck it, set the bar as low as possible and started blogging on company time. Things worked out pretty damn well. At least in that whole “flushed my life down the drain but we’re throwing massively successful techno raves no so maybe it will even out” sorta way.

Now take this Zimbabwean whore. She’s no different. Mati Nhamo trying to go the extra mile for her client. Already blew him. Already did God knows what else with him. And now she’s thinking she’ll go above and beyond for that extra tip. Customer service with a smile. Let me do his laundry for him. Maybe I’ll get a few extra bucks. Nope all you got is a zillion volts through your body. Was it worth is Mati? For sure not.